First, you have to differentiate between North and South Wales. Makes a big fucking difference does that, you know.
Second, you have to hate the English - bastards introduced central heating, and umbrellas and stuff. Had fuck all to do with the Italians, or Romans as they were called then, wandering past and saying things like "If you build these roads in a straight line, you wouldn't crash into trees so often" - "Fuck off, we're Welsh and we like trees, don't we Dewi ?!!"
Third, you must create a language that is no use to anyone, in the world, ever. Except for Patagonia, but that doesn't count as no-one knows where the fuck it is to start with.
Other things you could do?
- Create your own TV channel (pronounced S Pedwar Eck) to show shit programmes that nobody wants to watch
- Invent an Eisteddfod to showcase your lack of talent
- Create small towns with names that are longer to pronounce than the time it takes to traverse them
- Set fire to holiday cottages for no apparent, sorry, logical, reason
- Enforce the children to play rugby, and hope that when they grow up, they might still like it
- Love sheep, in an unconditional way
Fuckin Gleaming
But, being Welsh, we did give the world Manic Street Preachers - good, Charlotte Church - bad, Ryan Giggs - good, Tom Jones - Gaaarrrgh
*wanders off in the direction of Spain, mutterring to himself*