According to the bible, and lets face it - it's never wrong, 666 is the number of the beast. In revelations it says - 'Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.
Now, I'm not a huge fan of the bible but Iron Maiden also said it was so in their song Number of the Beast. Now if Iron Maiden say it then it must be true right? This is after all the most successful Metal band in the world. The first heavy metal band to have a number one single in the UK charts with the delicately titled 'Bring Your Daughter to the Slaughter' - ha put that in your pipe and smoke it Avril Poxy Lavigne.
I mean, Iron Maiden sing about serious topics. It's not like they headline the Monsters of Rock Festival, bound onto stage shouting "ALRIGHT DONNIGTON - ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?". A hundred thousand metal-heads get ready to head bang like never before. Power cords and rhythmic drumming get the crowd bouncing as one and then they start singing "All the little flowers are happy, all the little birdies are too tweet, tweet, tweet....". Exactly ! No they bloody do NOT.
So how gutted was I to find out that 666 is not the number of the beast at all. No ring tone, not even a bloody answerphone with a cool message like "Sorry, satans not available right now - he's out busy causing havoc, please leave a message after the scream". Nothing. Nada. Zip. Bastards !!!
I was so looking forward to winding the twat up. You see, in my head, I pictured his place like a huge overcrowded bar and the beast, there like the barman answering the phone and shouting for attention as I rang.
"Hello, can I speak to Mr Hunt please? First name's Mike"
(the beast shouting out) "Has anyone seen Mike Hunt?"
*cue laughter at my end and in the beasts pad*
"You again you snivelling little wretch - when I find you I'll....."
or
"Mr Jass please, his first name if Hugh"
"Come on everyone, listen up - I'm after a Hugh Jass"
"bwahahahahhaha"
"Why you little.......when I get hold of you"
But no - they lied, they all lied, it's not the number of the beast at all and now I'll have to find another way to entertain myself.
Number of the beast - my arse !!
*wanders off to think of something else*