domingo, diciembre 26, 2010

Honey - I'm honed

Sorry Space Cadets - I have been away (pissing about on the Faceless-book shite) - it really doesn't give me enough leeway to vent my considered opinions.

So, diving into the deep end of the Jack Daniels pool, let's divide the nations and it 'shit-izens' (point being, they're not all like this):

  • Korea - all Koreans are idiots (but the scary northern muppets are backed up by the freaky Chinese - woohoo :( )
  • Belgians - can't drive if one frigging snowflake hits the floor - it's no wonder the European Commission decided to settle there
  • Americans - are not all mental - but they do seem to make up for it - when they are crazy, they are 'kick the shit out of a tortoise' crazy
  • British - what part of 'it is hot, stay out of the sun' do you not frigging get? No wonder you look like Rock Lobsters and get slapped on the back by locals
  • Brazilians - still intrigued about that haircut thing (could be the purr-fect job for me)
  • French - arrogant mother-fuckers - your food is not that good and your manners suck
  • Germans - can you tell your women to shave please?
  • Spanish - you can organise a meal for 10 people and accomodate 20 - have you not figured out why your economy is fucked?
  • Irish - if you spent one tenth of the time sorting out your own shit instead of opening bars in every city in the world - do you not think you might have the perfect island now? (apart from the shit weather of course)
Now that's the first 10 countries covered, only 182 to go.
Please feel free to add to the list.
Also remember, that the complaints department is closed - but you can speak to our call centre in India.