Stupid bloody idea anyway. Who in their right mind would want to have anything sucked? That's just plain silly.
However, I got a call today informing me that she was not sucking anymore. Now, in itself that isn't really an issue but, if you are a vacuum cleaner - that's pretty shit as it's the only thing you have to do.
Just buy a new one - I thought, and apparently vocalised said thoughts, but then... It reminded me of a true story several years ago, in the UK.
'Kirby' cleaners were incredibly expensive - i.e. over a thousand squids. The sales-bastards were tenacious little rascals, cultivated from the most desperate areas of society.
Their sales 'pitch' involved sprinkling a small amount of water onto a bed sheet and explaining that everyone perspired whilst they slept. They would then apply the industrial strength suction unit to the sheet, sucking up dirt through the mattress to create a dirty ring on the sheet.
"This is what you sleep in every night" - the salesman would announce to his horrified prospective client.
On one particular occassion, the sales patter didn't work and the salesman announced he would return the following day at 11am to secure the sale/deal.
The following day, walking up the path, he saw the curtains twitch but whilst ringing the doorbell for 5 minutes, he got no response.
He pretended to walk away but, went around the back of the house and seeing a window open, climbed in.
As he carefully padded into the front room, he observed the terrified couple hiding behind the sofa occassionally trying to see if the salesman from hell had departed (not knowing he was behind them).
In a thunderous voice, he announced "Enough with the fucking 'hide and seek' - I found you. Now sign the contract."
The now, nervous wrecks duly did.
*Moral to the story? - Fucked if I know, but the muppet did try his pressure techniques on me and apparently a swift kick in the bollocks appears to work*
(oh, and apparently 'we' have a new vacuum cleaner - but, you won't find my fingerprints on it - I've seen CSI)"