Mostrando entradas con la etiqueta Ten Little Words. Mostrar todas las entradas
Mostrando entradas con la etiqueta Ten Little Words. Mostrar todas las entradas

lunes, septiembre 03, 2007

The Ten Irrelevant Words Post

(Prompted by JG, this post contains 10 words that have been super-glued together into a coherrent post, or not, but you can try and guess what the words are if you want).

*The Scene - another argument between God and Satan - usual shit really*

G - "So, I have invented this new thing, and it's called a banana and I will hang it on trees and the monkeys will be happy as they can eat them"
S - "They're a bit bent aren't they - the European Union will never go for these"
G - "They will too, and they're better than passion fruit and Man can use the skins to play practical jokes"
S - "But they're healthy and full of fibre, they will make Man poo in solid lumps"
G - "May not, as I have also invented farting, whereby Man can omit gas without following through"
S - "I know what flatulence is you over-rated hippy and it was my idea first"
G - "Was not. I am god, and I'm omnipotent and stuff"
S - "Oy yeah, and what about churches then, you invented them too"
G - "Alright, I fucked up a bit with the religion thing but Man can be Christian or Hindu or Muslim or anything"
S - "So how are your going to sell the banana idea to the Muslims then?"
G - "They too can benefit from the goodness of my new fruit"
S - "But what about Ramadan - didn't think of the Muslims there did you clever pants?"
G - "I did too, and they can stash the bananas in their underpants and eat them under the duvet when no-one is looking"
S - "Ah ha - but what about the undercover police? smartarse"
G - "Tits - alright I forgot that bit but I can set fire to a bush and warn them"
S - "Set a fire in the bush, in the bed?"
G - "What? You don't think it will work this time?"
S - "Arson again? What happens if they have already farted, bearing in mind gas is combustible?"
G - "Bollocks - ok, what if I also make the bananas like a laxative"
S - "That's bloody brilliant - so now Man can poo in his bed?"
G - "Oh for fuck's sake - it's only a bloody fruit"
S - "Don't take it out on me you twat, it was your bloody idea"
G - "Can't I invent anything without you taking the piss?"
S - "Probably, but when you come up with shit ideas, you're asking for it really"
G - "I will smite you and banish you from heaven"
S - "Fine - same time tomorrow then?"
G - "Indeed, but don't forget it's that barbeque thing so you bring the roasted meat and I'll sort out the beers"
S - "No worries matey, catch you on the flip side"
G - "Later dude"
*God thinks* Fuck, I liked the banana idea ......*disappears in a puff of smoke*