lunes, septiembre 03, 2007

The Ten Irrelevant Words Post

(Prompted by JG, this post contains 10 words that have been super-glued together into a coherrent post, or not, but you can try and guess what the words are if you want).

*The Scene - another argument between God and Satan - usual shit really*

G - "So, I have invented this new thing, and it's called a banana and I will hang it on trees and the monkeys will be happy as they can eat them"
S - "They're a bit bent aren't they - the European Union will never go for these"
G - "They will too, and they're better than passion fruit and Man can use the skins to play practical jokes"
S - "But they're healthy and full of fibre, they will make Man poo in solid lumps"
G - "May not, as I have also invented farting, whereby Man can omit gas without following through"
S - "I know what flatulence is you over-rated hippy and it was my idea first"
G - "Was not. I am god, and I'm omnipotent and stuff"
S - "Oy yeah, and what about churches then, you invented them too"
G - "Alright, I fucked up a bit with the religion thing but Man can be Christian or Hindu or Muslim or anything"
S - "So how are your going to sell the banana idea to the Muslims then?"
G - "They too can benefit from the goodness of my new fruit"
S - "But what about Ramadan - didn't think of the Muslims there did you clever pants?"
G - "I did too, and they can stash the bananas in their underpants and eat them under the duvet when no-one is looking"
S - "Ah ha - but what about the undercover police? smartarse"
G - "Tits - alright I forgot that bit but I can set fire to a bush and warn them"
S - "Set a fire in the bush, in the bed?"
G - "What? You don't think it will work this time?"
S - "Arson again? What happens if they have already farted, bearing in mind gas is combustible?"
G - "Bollocks - ok, what if I also make the bananas like a laxative"
S - "That's bloody brilliant - so now Man can poo in his bed?"
G - "Oh for fuck's sake - it's only a bloody fruit"
S - "Don't take it out on me you twat, it was your bloody idea"
G - "Can't I invent anything without you taking the piss?"
S - "Probably, but when you come up with shit ideas, you're asking for it really"
G - "I will smite you and banish you from heaven"
S - "Fine - same time tomorrow then?"
G - "Indeed, but don't forget it's that barbeque thing so you bring the roasted meat and I'll sort out the beers"
S - "No worries matey, catch you on the flip side"
G - "Later dude"
*God thinks* Fuck, I liked the banana idea ......*disappears in a puff of smoke*

28 comentarios:

john.g. dijo...

Excellent, Goth!

Princess of the Universe dijo...

That's hilarious!

The Aunt dijo...

Did I read somewhere that banana skins are hallucinogenic if smoked? (I think that means if you inhale their smoke, not that you smoke them like kippers and then eat them....)

kimmyk dijo...

I just bought bananas yesterday!! WTG GOD!!!

You're such a clever pants yourself SG!!

SpanishGoth dijo...

JG -> Thought it might make you smile - might even send you a list of 10 words, as a challenge

Princess -> Thanks

The Aunt -> I believe so but I've never actually tried it

Kimmy -> clever pants? oh, you must mean the leather ones

Stacie dijo...

You crack me up! Hope you're having a nice weekend...
Stacie

SpanishGoth dijo...

I still want someone to try and guess what the list of 10 words was though - marks out of 10 will be awarded and obviously John can't hazard a guess as he supplied them initially

Princess of the Universe dijo...

1. Banana
2. Fibre
3. Hippy
4. Fart
5. Underpants
6. Muslim
7. Duvet
8. Police
9. Laxative
10. Barbeque

Saffyre dijo...

That was too funny. I needed an early morning giggle. Thanks :)

yorlor dijo...

1] how does this work? who assigns the ten words?

2] I can set fire to a bush and warn them <-- that's my guess before i read the responses

3] i checked out some posts of jg, fun stuff, but didn't find a ten word post... did i miss it?

4] brilliant.

yorlor dijo...

...oh [sad face], there were ten words that had to make the post .... ah .... bollucks, i'm tired. and you having me say things like bollucks.... blimey and crikey.
g'night, leather mc hot pants.

Gorilla Bananas dijo...

God is losing his gravitas.

Brom dijo...

Here you go...

1: bent
2: passion
3: hippy
4: churches
5: ramadan
7: bush
8: poo
9: idea
and of course
10:banana

Maybe?

SpanishGoth dijo...

Princess -> 4/10 I'm afraid

Saffyre -> No problem, that's part of the intention of Goth World

Yorlor -> Not exactly, they were 10 seperate words sent as a list via e-mail. It may be that I send him 'my' list of 10 words for him to make up a post

GB -> he never had any in my view

Brom -> 2/10 I'm afraid

Tom Joad dijo...

banana
poo
flatulence
hippy
hindu
undercover
bush
arson
smite
dude

??

john.g. dijo...

Keep them guessing Goth!

SpanishGoth dijo...

Tom -> 3/10 but an interesting variation

JohnG -> but that would be cruel.... oh alright then

Sewmouse dijo...

Ok, I'll try it. Not in any particular order:

Monkeys
Passion
Ramadan
Satan
Duvet
Tits
Combustible
Barbeque
Bush
Underpants

Keith dijo...

No problem! I know what the words were!
1. God
2. Satan
3. Banana
4. Passion
5. Flatulence
6. Arson
7. Laxative
8. Police
9. Muslems
10. Fuck.

See, it's easy. When do I get my prize then?

SpanishGoth dijo...

Sewmouse -> nice try, but 2/10 I'm afraid

Keith -> you get your prize after I figure out what 'insider knowledge' deserves....

RUTH dijo...

Popped over from John G...this is excellent...brilliant in fact!

ChrisB dijo...

ha this is soooo very funny. I popped over from Johng

Mr Farty dijo...

Mmmm farting, always good.

Toot toot!

Princess of the Universe dijo...

Do I get anything for being second best?? :)

SpanishGoth dijo...

Ruth -> Welcome and thanks... just wait for his 10 words though ;-)

ChrisB -> Welcome also - think John will be busy in t'pub tomorrow

Mr Farty -> always the salesman - you should get a job with Heinz

Princess -> A big hig from the Goth Meister

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