jueves, septiembre 06, 2007

You Fucking Muppet Lawmakers

Everyone knows of some stupid law that still exists whether still in force from a bygone era or just because the people making the laws were complete anal retards. Let's face it, the silly book started it with some classics but as tomorrows post is related to the Big Book of Bullshit, I shall refrain from quoting any today. Instead, here are a few of the other juicy ones I have found - none of which apply in Goth World....

  • Alabama: Use of motor boats forbidden on city streets - (seems a nice trick if you could do it)
  • Alaska: It is forbidden to push a moose out of a plane in motion - (what if he has a parachute though?)
  • L.A.: If robbing a bank, shooting at the teller with a water gun is prohibited - (bound to happen)
  • Georgia: It is a misdemeanour for any citizen to attend church worship on Sunday unless he is equipped with a rifle and it is loaded - (I'm moving there !!)
  • Illinois: No monster may enter the city limits - (that's why they don't have a Vampires R Us)
  • Maine: Illegal to bite the landlord, no matter how much he deserves it - (hee hee)
  • Oklahoma: Whale hunting is strictly forbidden throughout the entire state - (in a land-locked state - long range harpoons I suppose)
  • Canada: It is illegal to set fire to the wooden leg of a wooden legged man - (spoil all the fun, bastards)
  • Canada: You may not swear in French - (didn't want to anyway)
  • Ireland: It is illegal for a student to walk through Trinity College without a sword - (make for some good arguments then)
  • England: With the exception of carrots, most goods may not be sold on Sunday - (WTF is so good about carrots?)
  • England: You can only shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow inside the city walls and after midnight - (bastards)
  • England: Excluding Sundays, it is perfectly legal to shoot a Scotsman with a bow and arrow - (consistent bastards though)
  • Scotland: It is illegal to be a drunk in possession of a cow - (presume that excludes spouses)
  • Australia: It is illegal to dress up as batman - (fancy dress party fucked then)
  • Belgium: A driver who needs to turn through oncoming traffic has the right of way unless he slows down or stops - (see that one in action every day)
  • France: Between the hours of 8AM and 8PM, 70% of music on the radio must be by French artists - (but it's shit)
  • Israel: It is illegal for a chicken to lay an egg on a Friday or Saturday - (time to get the corks out, or in even)


Feel free to add to the list.....

19 comentarios:

Princess of the Universe dijo...

Hmm, I swear in french all the time- it just sounds so much more impressive...

Sewmouse dijo...

And that's why you'll never see Godzilla eating Chicago!!!

Merde

Dip-Dop-Crabtree dijo...

Forgiveness for the previous post, I did not want to cut you the herb under the foot!!
We here is!! You do not have of to see what I have already published!!
In bullshit it is difficult to distribute medals!


To Châteauneuf-du-Pape, in Vaucluse, the mayor takes a municipal order " forbidding the flying over his municipality flying saucers "...

" The mayor of Châteauneuf-du-Pape stops(arrests):

" First Article. - the flying, the landing and the takeoff of aircrafts say flying saucers or flying cigars, whatever nationality that it is, are forbidden on the territory of the municipality.

" Art. 2. - any aircraft says flying saucer or flying cigar which will land on the territory of the municipalitywill be put at once in pound.

" Art. 3. - the rural policeman and the particular guard are in charge of, Each what concerns him, of the execution of the present order. "

To make better it is difficult !!!

Dip-Dop-Crabtree dijo...

You notice that I do not overflow the French frame!!

The law of 26 Brumaire the year IX of the Republic arranges:

" Every woman wishing to get dressed as man has to appear at the Police headquarters to obtain the authorization from it ". "... This authorization can be given only in view of a certificate of an officer of health ".

Two circulars of 1892 and 1909 authorize the feminine port of the pants if the woman holds by the hand a handlebars of bicycle or the reins of a horse!

- Everybody has to have a bale of hay at home in the case or king would pass with his horse.
- It is formally forbidden to call his pig "Napoleon".

Honey dijo...

"Belgium: A driver who needs to turn through oncoming traffic has the right of way unless he slows down or stops - (see that one in action every day)
" just to inform you the law was changed a few weeks ago to be 'including all vehicles that slow down OR stop", it's upped the scariness of the chicken run.

john.g. dijo...

It's illegal to smoke in the bus shelter up the road from our house! We only get two buses a day, and the bus station is open fronted!!

Chopski dijo...

In Michigan, it is illegal to chain an alligator to a fire hydrant. And, on the island of Jersey it's against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.

Ariel dijo...

I'm with you on French radio - it blows! Or rather, c'est de la merde.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Princess -> you sound like the guy from The Matrix

Sewmouse -> that and he'd chill his giant nuts off

Dip-dop -> pas de problem. No wonder the wine tastes so good - none of that alien pollution

Honey -> indeed - I'm sort of glad I don't drive here anymore although I did quite enjoy the challenge of Meiser

John G -> I got busted for the same thing at Rotterdam, 4am in the morning - bastards

Chopski -> or let your horse eat a fire hydrant apparently

Ariel -> especially French rap - I don't even like rap but I know that the French version is unbelievably crap

Stacie dijo...

These always make me laugh. Today I needed a laugh. Thank you Goth. You're awsome!
Stacie

Princess of the Universe dijo...

He had a good point about the language- even if he was an ass.

Gorilla Bananas dijo...

Congo: it's illegal to fart loudly during a thunderstorm.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Stacie -> np my dear, enjoy

Princess -> was that the one in Shrek?

GB -> why? is it a volume control thing?

Tom Joad dijo...

How about:

In France, it is illegal to call a pig 'Napoleon'

In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation.

In Vermont, women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.

In Kentucky, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon more than six-feet long.

The last one really cracks me up. What? Six feet? Where?

Ani dijo...

According to this list, I am illegal in about four different countries...

Tom Joad dijo...

Oops! Completely missed your pig/Napoleon reference there, Dip-Dop. Still, I can sort of guess why they would say that...

SpanishGoth dijo...

Tom -> which is why I believe George Orwell was taking the piss in Animal Farm

Ani -> sounds interesting - does that include Singapore where - Oral sex is illegal unless it is used as a form of foreplay?

Sewmouse dijo...

Apparently these are all from Washington State (up there by Canada, eh...)

A law to reduce crime states: "It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town.

People may not buy a mattress on Sunday.

All lollipops are banned.

It is illegal to pretend that one's parents are rich.

When two trains come to a crossing, neither shall go until the other has passed.

You cannot buy meat of any kind on Sunday.

It is illegal to display a hypnotized or allegedly hypnotized person in a store window.

Women who sit on men's laps on buses or trains without placing a pillow between them face an automatic six-month jail term.

It is illegal to carry a fishbowl or aquarium onto a bus because the sound of the water sloshing may disturb other passengers.

Persons may not wear a life jacket near the Spokane River.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Jeez, no wonder so many people are trying to get over the border...