Three Not So Wise Men

A long time, in a galaxy far away, lived three wise men. Well, sort of. Firstly, they weren't so wise at all and spent most of their time completely stoned staring at the stars. "Dude, that totally looks like a giraffe" said one "No way dude, it's a camel" said another and the third one just spluttered out a cough as he had inhaled too deeply.

At some point, one of them claimed to have received a message from god, which is obviously completely ridiculous as mobile phones weren't even invented then. "The big man says we have to follow the shining light and we will see the son of god" said Bob the Not-so-Wise. "Oh fucking hell" said Arthur-the-Slightly-Idiotic "I bet that means we have to take presents and everything". "Guys" exclaimed Dylan-the-Retard "I think I can see the camel now" and took another long drag on the monster spliff they had been sharing.

So the three not so wise men arranged some taxis, which were actually camels as the car hadn't been invented then, loaded up their presents, and some clean underwear and some biscuits in case they got the munchies.

"Wait" said Bob, who was probably the wisest of the three "What are you guys taking as presents? I mean we totally don't want to piss god off - he might set fire to our beards or anything. I'm taking gold". "Aha" said Arthur "Well I've got this francincense stuff which is totally in fashion at the moment". "What's that?" asked Dylan to which Arthur could only reply "Er, I don't actually know but have a whiff" and thus the other two inhaled deeply.

Finally, it was Dylan's turn to reveal his gift to the son of god. "It's myrrh" he proudly exclaimed "I haven't got a clue what it is but Ali Baba at the all-night cave convinced me it was the dogs bollocks".

Once they had loaded everything on the camels, they set off to follow the shining light. Within hours they were completely lost and had to ask a passing merchant for help. They explained about their mission and following the light to which the merchant replied "That's the moon you idiots. The son of god is that way, just follow the signs for Messiah".

A few days later the three not-so-wise men arrived at the cosy little shed where the baby jesus was busy making halos around the animals heads. They presented their gifts to the grateful parents and explained that the child would become famous and lead mankind to a glorious future of peace and love. But first they explained that the family must flee the land as the evil nutter Herod was going to kill all the children.

After they left they stopped off for another spliff and as they sat around the fire, they marvelled as little sparks danced around. "Dude" said Bob the Not-so-Wise to Dylan "We should be proud that we have saved the son of god with our wise words and warnings" "Indeed." said Arthur "And Dylan you remembered the bit about the romans and the crucifixtion" to which Dylan-the-Retard inhaled really deeply before replying "Shit, I totally forgot about that bit".