domingo, septiembre 30, 2007

Choosing Your Disciples

So Jesus realised that he needed to pick some disciples so he took a walk on the shore of Galilee and he approached the man with the big beard who was busy fishing. "You will come with me and be one of my disciples".

"Piss off, I'm fishing" replied the man.

"But you can become a fisher of men" said Jesus "But that's stupid" replied the man "Men don't live in the water".

"Not like that" an exasperated Jesus started to explain "We shall go forward and spread the word of the Lord".

"Oh I see" said the new disciple "And what is the word? Chocolate?".

"We will go forth and find.....what do you mean chocolate?"

"Well, you said about a word and we had to spread it - oh right, is it Marmalade then?"

"No it's not bloody marmalade - it will be us spreading the teachings of the Lord and will bring peace and goodwill to men. We will not be wandering around handing out bloody marmalade"

"It's a bit of a shit game, this guess the word thing but, the peace and goodwill sounds interesting so ok, count me in, my name is Simon"

"Excellent" responded Jesus "And I shall call you Peter"

"But that's not my name - I just told you it was Simon"

But it was too late as Jesus was wandering off looking for more disciples... thus Peter the Fisherman was recruited and packed up his fishing gear to follow Jesus. As he left he could be heard mumbling - "I wonder if it's butter, I can't believe it's not buter"

12 comentarios:

Crabtree dijo...

'Come ', says Jesus. And Pierre, descendant of the small boat, started to walk on waters...
And of course the son of Jonas, still did not have cléfs !!

Dip-Dop

Ariel dijo...

I'm thinking Marmite personally but it's all open to interpretation, innit?!

Tom Joad dijo...

Oh yes - Marmite. Now if that was the word of Jeebus, I'd be in (until the toast ran out).

Sewmouse dijo...

CreamCheese?

SpanishGoth dijo...

Dip-Dop -> very good, I like the descriptipn of Pierre

Ariel -> I'm rather partial to Marmite too

Tom-Joad -> Thankfully, at least they stock it all over Europe now

Sewmouse -> wot like fillydeplfia ?

john.g. dijo...

And Simon/Peter said before they left on their epic, yet brainless journey, "If you think you're going to feed the five thousand from my lake, you can f*ck right off !!

PI dijo...

I know! Instead of trying to remember the names of the seven dwarves how about the disciples? There's Simon and Peter and...

Crabtree dijo...

Sacred distribution !!

Simon appelé Pierre le premier évêque de Rome, et André "Protoklite" son frère ,Jacques et Jean "Boanerges",Philippe et Barthélemy , Thomas "Didyme"et Matthieu (percepteur des impôts),Jacques et Thaddée (trinomius) ,Simon le Zélote"le Cananéen" et Judas l'Iscariote ( trésorier ?)« Le baiser de Judas , pour 30 pièces d'argent !»

Crabtree dijo...

I wait for suite with impatience

SpanishGoth dijo...

JG -> I think they got outside catering in for the tuna sandwiches

Pat -> Original names? or what they were changed to? I dare say you could get to eleven but even the Beatles couldn't help you out with the name of the twelfth

Dip-Dop -> kind of depends which version you take - and by that I don't just mean the Freanch translation (it got changed in Acts too) - the sequel ;-)

Crabtree dijo...

For my happiness,
your version will be mine :D (Y)

SpanishGoth dijo...

Dip-Dop -> When I get around to finishing writing it...