lunes, septiembre 17, 2007

The Tony Blair Which Project?

I presume it must be tricky stepping down from one of the most powerful positions in the world today. What project do you take on next? The desire to do something single-handedly must be a major male desire - whoops, that's masturbation.

Anyway, having totally fixed Northern Ireland all on his own, I guess the only bigger challenge is fixing the Middle East conflict. I mean that has to represent a bigger challenge right? They've been kicking the shit out of each other for thousands of years and if you can just turn up, play your theme tune 'Things Can Only Get Better' and it's fixed - instant hero worship.

But, how does the messiah start with this process? Well, first you'd need a film crew to fuck about in the woods for a few days. You wouldn't want to spend any money as that would be stupid - but, luckily enough, being best mates with G W(anker) Bush you can get CNN to do it for free.

However, pissing about in the woods is labourious and you might encounter a big Brown bear, so you should take some friends with you. It also helps if your wife can scare the shit out of critters by just coming out of the closet, sorry, tent - with a face pack on. Thus Blair proclaimed a 'War on Terror' and so it became illegal to be a vampire, or ogre, or monster of any kind especially if you had a beard - which meant you were completely fucked if you were a werewolf.

Hence, the next chapter of the Blair Project began and people ran about screaming "Allah, the shit is not working" and Blair said "Give it time, for time is our greatest ally in the fight against evil" in a slightly sanctimonious and somewhat patronising way.

And thus, the Brown bear was propped up in the corner and as the camera fell to the ground one could just hear the screaming in the background "I didn't mean to fuck the budget up Lord Evil".........

10 comentarios:

Dip-Dop-Crabtree dijo...

The Sixth Sense has of " pif " ( nose )!
Loan of 10 years in power, to drive its country in the depths of what it is possible to make in anachronism.
The Blair , in slang :le pif ,le blase ,la truffe et le tarin )!!
"Fingers in the nose !"

His balance sheet is only a paradox!

john.g. dijo...

Lord Tony will be ok. All he has to do is get Cherie to smile at them..........shudder!

PI dijo...

I think Cherie gets left behind these days. Poor old soul!

SpanishGoth dijo...

Dip-Dop -> top film. I really like the Sixth Sense - "I see dead people..."

JG -> Smarmy twat's not a lord already is he?

Pat -> Poor Cherie? She scares the shit out of me

john.g. dijo...

Not yet Goth, but it cant be long.

kimmyk dijo...

This had me snickering.

Although I don't know who Cherie is. Wife maybe?

Just the title alone cracks me up.

SpanishGoth dijo...

JG -> I hope we are talking about his peerage, not his appendage

Kimmy -> wife indeed and scary as it seems, the bitch has her own Wiki Witch Wefewence

You Sick Bastard! dijo...

He just needs to watch out for people named Dick just in case he just shoots you for no apparent reason thinking that you were a duck.

SpanishGoth dijo...

YSB -> that would be assuming 'he' was an American.... (nothing personal dude)

SpanishGoth dijo...

TITS - what I was alluding to was the shooting Dick thing

Fucking made sense in my mind when I thought it