jueves, septiembre 20, 2007

The Antichrist

Contrary to some peoples belief I am not, nor ever wish to be the Antichrist. It's not because I object to the jesus part of it. If you want to believe in the fairy stories about some hippy buggering about Jerusalem on a donkey 2,000 years ago making people happy - I'm happy for you.

No, the part I don't like is the ANTI bit. People just don't seem to get it at all. For example:-

Anti-War? Some 'tree-hugger' decides to mount an Anti-War campaign. "Yes, together we shall muster an army of believers and march against the tyranny of war". Look you fucking muppet, you're doing the same thing just in a different way.

Anti-Fur? The Anti-Fur campaigners scare the shit out of me. I can just see gangs of them roaming around the forest pouncing on some unsuspecting bear "Quick, throw the paint on him" "No, hold the bastard down while we shave him" - "Yeah, that'll teach him to wear fur !"

Anti-oxidants? Leave them alone. What did oxidant ever do to piss on your bonfire?

Anti-perspirant. People smell for a reason - it's time to get washed. Cats don't need deodorant, they know if they smell so they just stop exactly where they are and give themselves a bath. Teenagers start to smell and so they just spray everything with Sure and hope nobody notices.

Anti-social? So the theory is that if I don't agree with your perceived way of living I am considered antisocial. Well, what if your way of living is totally shit? Tough, I will become a pariah until a few years later everyone realises that I was right and suddenly am promoted from pariah to dead hero - bit fucking late for the acclaim but there you go.

I'm sure there are some more Anti things that you can suggest. Fire away.....

18 comentarios:

Ani dijo...

I don't know, Goth, there's a lot of anti words I do like: anti-hero, antithesis... antihistamines. ;)

Tippler dijo...

Anti-matter.

Now what is the fooking point of that?

And I had an Anti Mary once. And some cousins.

Then there's anti-freeze. Just put a chuffing coat on.

Meanwhile, I'll get mine...

Princess of the Universe dijo...

Isn't the longest english word ever supposed to be antidisestablismenttarianism?
Don't know what it means, but thought I would throw it out there...

Stacie dijo...

Anti pasta always confused the shit out of me. Sure, we can tell by looking at it that it's not pasta, do we really need to announce it? I don't know..

I guess that's why I'm antisocial, otherwize I'd probably clock someone upside the head that offered me an antipasta...
Stacie

john.g. dijo...

Antipodes.....fucking Aussies!

Sewmouse dijo...

Like ani, there are some anti words that I like too:

Antidepressants?
Antibodies!
Antiseptic
:)

SpanishGoth dijo...

Ani -> I know there are good aunties - always are

Tippler -> My Anti Mary is as mad as a bicycle. As for Anti-freeze, I like it when they put it on the wings of the plane - it reassures me to know there is a wing on each side

Princess -> longest word in English? Welsh - bastards have been trying to get it out for centuries

Stacie -> could be worse, 'spaghetti bum' is terrible I believe, something to do with your junction or ...

JG -> Not another Kylie freak....!!

Sewmouse -> HA just wait until I start on the 'Pro' ones

Keith dijo...

I know what 'anticipate' means, but what the fuck is a 'cipitate' that needs to be antied (I just invented a new word! That was a bit of an anti-climax.)

What?

SpanishGoth dijo...

ha ha - you've been drinking with JGihad then

Stacie dijo...

I emailed you...I'm stampgirll in case it goes to your junk folder.

Tom Joad dijo...

Antideluvian? What do people have against a spot of rain?

Antimatter - against people who make mats?

SpanishGoth dijo...

Stacie -> junk folder? I recycle honey (but you should have a reply)

Tom -> Noah got pissed off about the rain - but people in Glastonbury just sigh and buy wellies

JolietJake dijo...

Anti is a fellas name in Finnish, but they spell it Antti. So if you ask a Fin about antichrist they just shrug and say "I didn't know Jesus had a brother, mind you it's been a while since I read his book".

What about anti-natal? what the bloody blazes does that mean then?

SpanishGoth dijo...

JJ -> Apparently it's calmer than post-natal

That leads to depression and all sorts of weird shite

zoe dijo...

anticipate?

well, it is an anti ....

Sewmouse dijo...

OOOOH - I can't wait to hear about the "PRO"'s

I am wondering how you will handle the phylactic ones.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Zed -> so female, always anticipating intsead of participating ;-)

Sewmouse -> Handle the pro's? Like I always do - pay them

Mr Farty dijo...

Anti-gravity. Well, it's one way to get off this smegging planet.