Educating Reet Duh

Firstly, let me point out that 'reet' is a very Northern UK way of prouncing the word right - as in the phrase 'Yee a reet love?'. I'm not terribly au fait with particular northern dialects although I do understand most of them.

Anyway, as I am stuck in my little crystal cage at the moment, I have to find some entertainment via the windows of the apartment. Tomorrow, this will change as Lena's recommendation, Carnivale has arrived.

Today though, I was tempted to educate the stupid 'women' I observed via the window.

Thus, my suggestions for 'the brain the size of a peanut gang':-

• Point 1 - trying to run away from the police when you are fat is not a clever idea. When was the last time you saw a sofa with legs win an Olympic medal?
• Point 2 - attempting to throw drugs into a hedge doesn't work if you leave them in the packet, moron
• Point 3 - concealing an eight inch screwdriver in your bra does not really transmit a feeling of an innocent bystander looking for a furniture shop
• Point 4 - whilst you may be able to dismantle a wardrobe with your screwdriver, you could have just sat on the bastard thing
• Point 4a - the police have guns which are far more effective at stopping idiotic elephants

Unsurprisingly, 'lard-arse' and her equally inept accomplice were arrested and, once the police were able to find a big enough vehicle, carted off to jail (probably a very big one).

Looking on the bright side, at least I had some entertainment.

Incidentally, before any pompous twat starts criticising, I have nothing against fat people. I just don't like fucking idiots - whatever their size.....