Warming Up - Religiously

I really need to read the bible again - to remind myself of why I so enjoyed criticising it in the past.

For those of you that haven't read it, you should just for the incredible bollocks that it spouts.

I think I may have to have a regular Gothic Post, every Friday - just so that the religious nutters have time to polish their foreheads before getting twatted with Gothic wisdom.

Here are a few examples that were "borrowed" from another author:-

Leviticus (25:44) - states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations - cool, that''s Holland fucked

Leviticus (15: 19-24) - There can be no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Leviticus (1:9) - If you burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord. The problem is, my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

Leviticus (19:27) - Most men get their hair trimmed, even though this is expressly forbidden by . How should they die?

Leviticus (11:6-8) - claims that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but can I still play American football if I wear gloves?

Sorry religious type people - The Goth is back