So, today is Assumption Day - the patron saint of ridiculous notions. It means that if you live in a country where the church (house of stupid ideas) is vaguely popular, you don't have to go to work or anything.
Unfortunately, there's fuck all on TV except a variety of monkeys in cassocks celebrating the fact that the virgin mary got received in heaven (although how they know this is a mystery as there was no CNN then - just a load of blokes with beards writing the shit down afterwards in a rather haphazard fashion).
The definition of assumption in my dictionary is 'assuming; thing assumed; arrogance' and some other burbling shit about some chick having a baby 2,000 years ago without sex, pain or stretch marks.
Now this is blatantly an assumption, but - no pain is good, so I assume it's a good assumption. Which naturally rather leads to the principle that you can have bad assumptions - like it's safe to stand behind an elephant after you've given it a laxative.
As there is no definitive black or white, you must therefore also have other types of assumptions - like slightly twisted assumptions, fucking stupid assumptions or slightly misguided but vaguely believable assumptions.
So, there is my challenge for today - assumption day. What is the stupidest assumption you have ever heard?