miércoles, marzo 26, 2008

Chinese Olympics

So, for some bizarre reason known only to the Olympic Committee, the games are to be held in China. What a bloody stupid decision.

Firstly, the pollution in and around Beijing makes sucking on an exhaust pipe preferable. Secondly, it's not as if the chinese are extra friendly or anything and Goth help you if you're Tibetan.

Therefore, it is for this reason that I have decided to create a Goth team who will travel to China - on behalf of those friendly little monks who just want their country back. As the funky monkeys are used to wearing long flowing robes, I'm sure my team will fit right in.

The provisional list for the team is:-
  • The Crow
  • Neo from The Matrix
  • Jet Li (as The One)
  • Van Helsing
Hee hee - now the next time those pesky little chinese try twatting someone with their over-sized chopsticks they are going to get a bloody good arse kicking.

Think you're good at kung fu do you, irritating oriental hobbit? Just wait until Jet Li makes a noodle salad out of your arms and legs - then you won't be so anally retentive just because you all have the same uniform.

Incidentally, if you're wondering why Van Helsing is in the team - it's not because he has to do any fighting but I figured we might as well win one gold medal whilst we're there and he's a dead cert for the archery competition (assuming the chinese haven't banned all weapons that is).

Still, I'm sure there are a few others you could suggest for my Goth-i-Betan olympic squad....

8 comentarios:

Daphne Wayne-Bough dijo...

I think you'll find Jet Li will be on the host team, being Chinese. You should have a Belgian on the team - Pierre Marcolini is the obvious choice.

Princess of the Universe dijo...

Isn't Neo "the one"??
I vote for Buffy or Angel being on the team.

john.g. dijo...

Wesley Snipes in Blade!

The muscles from Brussels, Jean-Claude van Sprout.

Ariel dijo...

All this Olympic exercise, too much effort if you ask me, robes or no robes.

JolietJake dijo...

I'm sure could pass for a Tibetan, are there any events I can do sitting down? If not put me down for Landscape Gardening, I'll bring my own shrubbery.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Daphne -> But Jet has dual nationality unlike Pierre who is just a waffle

Princess -> I'd agree with Buffy but Angel is busy bonking Bones at the moment

JG -> Blade is a definite - although JC Van Sprout might be handy for the catering

Ariel -> but I thought you liked horizontal and bars ;-)

JJ -> I think you might be too portly to get away as a Tibetan - but you could be the Buddha mascot (that's mainly sitting down)

PI dijo...

Tell them to avoid the Chinese remedies - more lethal than the smog.
Can it be worse Than Delhi? We descended through a filthy orange black cloud.

The Aunt dijo...

Of COURSE the daughter of whassisname off Porridge who plays all them vampires, um, Beckinsale, and of course Aled Jones.

What? Isn't he well known for his Gothness?