domingo, marzo 23, 2008

Virtual Insanity

I have one of those Play-Frustration things and, simplistically, it makes no fucking sense at all. There are too many buttons and the car doesn't do what I want it to do at all - stupid bastard thing.

In reality, I can drive anything that has wheels (and I have the official licenses to prove it) - in PFS (Play Fucking Station) world, I can't drive for shit.

"OK", I think and change the game to golf - the art of twatting a small ball into a small hole whilst wearing ridiculous trousers.

Same result.

In real life, I can twat a ball really hard, in the direction that I want (or, if frustrated enough, twat the person I want to). However, on this game thingy - I'm like Stevie Wonder on acid.

WTF? - What the fuck is that about then?

In 'gaming' world, you can be anything you want to. You can kick the shit out of some Alien mother-fuckers, beat Brazil at football with one leg tied behind your head, fly X-wing doofers at breakneck speed and..

In reality, it doesn't actually work that way.

Crashing a car fucking hurts. Getting your arse kicked hurts also and you cannot climb walls, jump across mighty crevaces or otherwise without the aid of class A drugs.

However, in a spiritual Gothic way, I offer the following 'gaming' releases:-

Learn a Language (especially your own)
Read Books (with words and everything)
Hate God (he started it)
Make Love Not War (some hippy shit, but makes sense I think)

Suggestion for the Gothic Play Fru-Station games?????

8 comentarios:

john.g. dijo...

First!!

Stay off the J.D when playing games! Golf is easy, even for a spazzo like me!!

SpanishGoth dijo...

JG -> hmmmm and Yoda is only small but he can kick ass (in a small, puppet-like fashion)

kissme dijo...

How about twatting the console with a big stick until it is in really small pieces?

Jonathan favours those World War 2'flying' games and he is TOTALLY convinced he can fly a plane because of this......even to the point of telling other people he can fly when we're on a plane, so there's no need to worry if pilot and co-pilot suddenly drop dead from some horrible and mysterious disease.

Heaven help us, the man is mad.

( . )( . ) dijo...

I dont understand those gaming machines. I hate them. Mainly because I cant play them.

However, I used to love watching my sister play final fantasy 7 on the old playstation. Mind you I was a little tike at the time...

Crabtree dijo...

To avoid being ridiculous and not losing the face!? With my kids and yes I am there put too! (Super mario kart, Zelda, FIFA, Prince of Persia…)
And I am not so ridiculous!?
Enfin je pense ??

But as regards the races of car, play of racing I am insane wheel!!
I case all that is on my passage and even sometimes that I often say I am with against feel??
I am null as it is not allowed… Snif!

JolietJake dijo...

that's a Jamiroquai song, he also obsesses about driving fast cars, you want to be Jamiroquai.

I would like a game with a voice that shouts abuse when you touch the controller - "stop that you fucking idiot you'll break it", "still on level one? rtfm dimwit!" and so on.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Kiss Me -> just make sure he's not on the same flight as me pls

(.)(.) -> I never was a big fan of games - preferred drinking and other such past-times

Dip Dop -> the driving games I can do - it's P of Persia etc that I make a right twat of myself

JJ -> I've got a chess game for the computer that talks to you like that - well, I did have until I crucified the pompous thing

Honey dijo...

grumble, my comment went walkabout. suffice to say it was terrobly witty and intelligent.