Those of you that have been reading this page since before the hippy got nailed to the tree, may remember the Good Book.
For the newbies, I'm not talking about the bible and it's bullshit ramblings - I'm talking about
The Little Book Of Calm
I happened across the little rascal whilst searching for something I didn't find but, you really should share the wisdom.
So, randomnly, I selected a page or three and - brace yourselves - here goes.....
Train a Calm Place
Apparently, if you practise being calm on a park bench you can simply go there to be calm.
(Everyone else calls this being homeless but, who am I to argue with wisdom?)
Practise Saying No
Only take on what you can do and then politely turn down other requests
(Well, that explains most of the teenage pregnancies in the UK then)
A cold body is seldom calm
(The dead ones don't seem to wriggle that much)
Obviously, the cynical amongst you may think I made this shit up - I didn't (apart from my opinion in brackets) so feel free to check the lunatic ramblings of a mushroom muncher yourselves.
And may it bring you as much calm as Jack Daniels did to me.....