martes, septiembre 09, 2008

The Not So Little Book Of Calm

Those of you that have been reading this page since before the hippy got nailed to the tree, may remember the Good Book.

For the newbies, I'm not talking about the bible and it's bullshit ramblings - I'm talking about

The Little Book Of Calm

I happened across the little rascal whilst searching for something I didn't find but, you really should share the wisdom.

So, randomnly, I selected a page or three and - brace yourselves - here goes.....

Train a Calm Place

Apparently, if you practise being calm on a park bench you can simply go there to be calm.
(Everyone else calls this being homeless but, who am I to argue with wisdom?)

Practise Saying No

Only take on what you can do and then politely turn down other requests
(Well, that explains most of the teenage pregnancies in the UK then)

Think Warm

A cold body is seldom calm
(The dead ones don't seem to wriggle that much)

Obviously, the cynical amongst you may think I made this shit up - I didn't (apart from my opinion in brackets) so feel free to check the lunatic ramblings of a mushroom muncher yourselves.

ISBN 0-140-28526-1

And may it bring you as much calm as Jack Daniels did to me.....

44 comentarios:

Honey dijo...

i hate little books of any description
an aquaintance once gave me a 'little book on friendship' well that ended that.
what i would like to see is the little book of death
the little book of torture
the little book of little books to avoid..
no you see just ban them get normal sized books and try and make the content relevent, otherwise use them as firewood, oh no ooops they are too small.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Yeah - there's something about the end of a relationship that just makes you think

"Hmmm - that will burn"

(and I'm not talking about you - it's me)

PI dijo...

Well they are easier to read than 'Midnight's Children' that's for sure. But then what isn't?

Sewmouse dijo...

Well see then, it worked! At least the first bit - since you found your calm place at the bottom of the JD bottle...

I am jealous. I cannot drink anymore, as it makes me sick quick (like less than 1 drink). I suppose I'll have to find another calm place.

Anónimo dijo...

Me I have of other experience "la bibliothèque rose " (the pink library)
Ca ne vaut pas tripette ,mais pour caler les pieds de table c'est parfait, surtout si il y a une bouteille fine champagne ou même Jack Daniels!

john.g. dijo...

"Train a calm place"?

Not if the fucker de-rails it aint!

Che "October Golf Course" L'écossais dijo...

Mmm...whisky never calms me.
And bourbon makes me outright angry, just thinking of how they ruined a decent drink.
I think I'll stick with the mushies.

....You Sick Bastard dijo...

I can be calm at hooters. Take the dead cold homeless folks with me to liven the bastards up.

Leni Qinan dijo...

Hey Goth! Today it's my birthday, so no little books. I'd rather have some Jack Daniels instead. :)


Daphne Wayne-Bough dijo...

Better a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy ... although that would make you very calm too. Permanently.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Pat -> er, the bible...

Sewmouse -> I didn't find calm in a bottle, although I tried really hard

M Crabtree -> sorry not to reply in French but it's been a hard week - but I can help with your table

JG -> I told you not to toss that fag out of the window

Che -> I don't believe Zen would work on you - try walking on rice paper

YSB -> but you could use them - as fuel for your fire

Leni -> 21 again? Oh to have that IQ ;-)
*hands over a bottle of Jack with a rose superglued to the logo*

Daffers -> 'full frontal'? - I assume this is an assault tactic not a message of peace?

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