viernes, septiembre 05, 2008

Why I Hate Custom People

I say people in the loosest definition of the word, and I say HATE in the strongest definition of the word. It's not really that I hate authority - I just don't like idiots with authority or badges or, especially guns.

My first encounter with Customidiocy was on my return from Germany for a school trip. I had discovered you could buy cigarettes anywhere and so had stuffed numerous packs into my suitcase for my return.

On arrival at Customs exercise, 40 or so of us children walked neatly through the Green Channel (Nothing to Declare).

Rather unsurprisingly, I got stopped and the following conversation ensued.

Custom Offal - "Have you read the sign thoroughly?"
Goth - "What sign?"
CO - "Please go back, read the sign and come through the appropriate channel"
Goth - "OK"

*wanders back as supervising teacher develops a migraine*

CO - "Ah - so you have come back through the Red Channel. What do you have to declare?"
Goth - "That I tried the Green one and you stopped me so I thought I'd try this one"
CO - "Let's open your suitcase then"
Goth - "You can if you want but I know what's in it"

*teacher now approaching organisms"

CO - "Less than 200 cigarettes - that's fine then"
Goth - "I know that, I read the sign this time ;-)"

These days, I wouldn't try that shit though. Taking a teacher through customs is far too stressful....

8 comentarios:

Mr Farty dijo...

I have a co-worker (love that expression) who, on returning from Amsterdam, was asked if he had anything to declare. "Only the hardcore porn videos, ha-ha!"

They confiscated the lot. Twat.

SpanishGoth dijo...

As opposed to the 'twatting lot'....

Brom dijo...

Goth - "That I tried the Green one and you stopped me so I thought I'd try this one"


I came thru' LHR once and passed a guy who had been stopped in the green channel, next to his open suitcase were about 8 pairs of identical trainers. I heard the customs guy say... "So these are for your own personal use"?

SpanishGoth dijo...

Brom -> HA - see you fly too much my errant little Welsh buddah.

Only frequent fliers use airport codes.

Sewmouse dijo...

Nah, that's not always true, Goth!

I use the airport code for the local airport (ORD) because it's weird, and because knowing it saves time wasted at telling the online travel agents I don't want to drive 20 miles to MID.

And I even know WHY O'Hare International Airport is "ORD"

JolietJake dijo...

i smuggled some haddock in my pants from Bangkok, it was a twelve hour flight. The customs dude didn't even want to know what the smell was, "just get the fuck out of here" were his exact words

( . )( . ) dijo...

I hate customs so much, it is all bullshit.

zoe dijo...

Joliet - I'd so love to believe that one. I probably could, on second thoughts.