I used to think it was because of my appearance but, it would appear the weirdos can find me over the phone, T'internet or even by snail-mail (when it regards bills).
To explain what I mean by freaks/weirdos, let me expand a little further (like a fat twat in a pie shop).
I can walk into a pub/bar full of people, purchase my pint of Jack Daniels or whatever, and stand at the bar cogitating about something and nothing.
Within minutes I will be approached by:-
- a freak on a leash offering to sell me drugs, or
- a wired weirdo wanting to buy drugs, or
- a suspicious character offering me the chance to make some money by nefarious means
- I don't need any thanks, I'm perfectly capable of talking bolllocks without the need of chemical stimulation
- Do I look like a pharmacist? No - they usually wear white coats not fuck-off long black coats
- Whilst I understand the fiscal benefits of importing Romanian women to give blow jobs for 50 cents whilst you charge 50 euros as their 'slime-manager' it is still a bullshit idea, and no, I am not afraid of you 'shit-for-brains' but thanks for asking.
Whilst the temptation to become Jean Claude Van Sprout (JG) and pluck their eyeballs from their head whilst decapitating their grandmother with a jumping side kick is appealing, I live in the real world. Therefore, I allow the Fuckwit-Filter to do the 'kicking in'.
"I'm sorry" I say whilst taking a non-too healthy drag on my cigarette "You must have me confused with someone that actually gives a fuck about whatever you're talking about"
*Weirdos and freaks wander off*
"See - I told you" - says Fuckwit Filter
"Indeed" - I reply
"And btw, I got rid of that shite by Coldplay on your Muppet3 that was a birthday present - I mean, it is fucking bollocks anyway so I replaced it with the new HIM album"
Hooray for Fuckwit-Filters.......