miércoles, abril 09, 2008

Team Building - My Arse

It would appear that having signed myself over to the 'corporate devil' eventually, I have to undergo an enforced 'team-building event'. The mere fact that they have to enforce the bloody thing rather indicates what a stupid idea it is.

Therefore, instead of doing the job I get paid for, I will have to listen to some muppet from the United States of Idiots explain some bullshit that they neither understand nor adhere to. Just because someone has read a book does not imply that they have understood it.

I will try desperately not to bring up Vietnam and how effective their strategy was there (in case you weren't aware, they fucked up big time).

Instead I will focus on - birds outside the window, or how I can tie 'Plastic' to 'Reaction' in a relatively coherrent post or maybe even, what the rest of the frogs do when the French have just eaten their legs.

How do you get out of something that is compulsory?
  • I thought about calling in sick (easy enough really) but that was too simplistic
  • I considered creating havoc, but that's not in my job description
  • I wondered if maybe I was being too negative, and that maybe living in peace and harmony would be good - and then I recalled that jesus got nailed to a tree for trying that one

So, I will turn up with a crate of beer, some nachos and a DVD of Team USA and see what happens.


However, if the esteemed professional advisor, at any time tries to get me to hug anyone, or join hands and sing 'Kumbaya' - they will get stapled to the first thing I find.

Unless you have a better suggestion

9 comentarios:

c-death dijo...

How old was the guy from the US? 30 something? he was like 4 maybe 6 when Vietnam was going on. Like he had control of his parents or grand parents actions at the rip age of 4.

zoe dijo...

Duct tape and a bottle of JD?

Daphne Wayne-Bough dijo...

Take a notebook and spend the whole time writing your next blog post, looking up occasionally and nodding intently. Then at the end put your hand up and ask the guy where he stands on neurolinguistic programming.

That should get you noticed.

Sewmouse dijo...


Not everything in the USofA is fardleschnockered up. We have LOTS of cool stuff... like...

"Reality" TV
Supersize Fries
The Chicago Cubs
Green Milkshakes

ok. we suck. Find a way to cut off the muppet's "Power Tie"

john.g. dijo...

A black powder nail gun, a packet of cigs, and, as Zoe suggested, the JD!

phoenix dijo...

If you cant beat them join them but only you will know that you're actually taking the piss (which will give you a great deal of inner satisfaction) Do a lot of back slapping , clapping and smiling with a fixed grin then go and get drunk at the free bar x

SpanishGoth dijo...

c-death -> he might have done - he could have been a gifted sprog

Zoe -> the JD is a definite, as for the tape - I might need to visit Bondage R Us

Daphne -> if I took my laptop I could play games at the same time

Semouse -> I'm liking the idea of 'wardrobe rearrangement - must remember to come in full Goth gear

JG -> apart from the nail gun, the others go without saying

Crabtree dijo...

Ah ! My God !
You been not exorcised ?

Super ta presentation ,très chouette !
C'est du Gothique !

SpanishGoth dijo...

Dip-Dop -> L'exorcisme est pour le faible mais 'Sexercisme' est pour les Goths...

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