sábado, abril 12, 2008

The Gothic Helpdesk

Some American Idiot, in their infinite lack of wisdom, decided that people would gain wisdom by encountering 'the system' from a back to basics standpoint.

A) - Look 'empathy' up in the dictionary dude
B) - There is a very good reason I was taken off the Helpdesk originally
C) - I'm a Goth and if I don't want to do something, I'm not going to.....

However, in a 'Team USA' fashion I acquiesced (or should that be, in a Gothic way I proved a point?).

Call Number 1
Goth - "Helpdesk"
Nice Person - "Hi, I'm sorry to bother you but my computer is not doing what I want it to"
Goth - "No problemo, tell me what you want to do and I'll make it so, in a Jean-Luc fashion"
Nice Person - *burble, burble, burble*
Goth - "Try it now"
Nice Person - "Oh wonderful, it's working now - thankyou so much"
Goth - "No problemo - have a nice day"

Call Number 2
Goth - "Helpdesk"
Twat - "Hello. I'm really important in the company and my computer is not working"
Goth - "That's a shame"
Twat - "What do you mean it's a shame? Fix it now !!!"
Goth - "Try putting a nice person in front of it"
Twat - "I DEMAND that you fix it now"
Goth - "You fucked it up, fix it yourself" #dial tone#

Call Number 3
(bearing in mind I can see on caller display it's the same number)
Goth - "Hello, Trumpton Fire Station, who do you want Hugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuth.."
Twat - "I am very un.." #dial tone#

Call Number 4
(seconds later)
Goth - "Wun Hung Lo Chinese takeaway - you want 69 with sore finger?"
Twat - "This is not funny, I will .." #dial tone#

Call Number 5
Goth - "Helpdesk - pour Francais presse deux, Nederlands twee, Espagnol quattro - and if you're in Finance, FUCK OFF"
Twat - "I know who you are and this is not funny.."
Goth - "La La La - Not listening, not listening........."#dial tone#

At which point 'Team USA' took me off the Helpdesk, again.

Scheiss passiert !!

11 comentarios:

john.g. dijo...

Class! Pure class! I salute you!

john.g. dijo...

BTW, First!

Sewmouse dijo...

Make him write 50 times...

"I will be a nice person to the Helpdesk"

SpanishGoth dijo...

JG -> Cool - you morphed into AC/DC - well done sir

Sewmouse -> Funnily enough, the Twat was female - I assume it could have been a cyclical thing but...

zoe dijo...

You weren't forced into saying "Have a nice day" at the end of the call? That's the part where I fuck up - and not always unintentionally.

Crabtree dijo...

That seems one can schoolkid , but it is very funny !!
je dirai même mieux hilarant tout un programme !

Honey dijo...

Oh shame they took you off, I'd love to hear more of the same. First laugh I've had in a while. Thank you!

Ariel dijo...

Oh boy... this reminds me of a spell in call centres way back when. "I know who you are" is a common line, sadly. Try answering as a crematorium next time, could be fun.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Zoe -> I'm a Goth you silly little woman with no shed - I only get 'forced' into bars

Dip-Dop -> merci mon ami

Honey -> Pas de problem cherie - you have the number call (then I can send the bats around to munch roving reporters)

Ariel -> I have only had to 'crucify' myself on the altar of Sympathy rarely - generally "Oh for fucks sake you muppet" is good enough to terminate the call

PI dijo...

You are VERY naughty!

SpanishGoth dijo...

I am not "VERY naughty!" but thankyou for adding to my list of fantasies