martes, abril 01, 2008

Napoleon Ozonolysis

Hmm, book 16 in my Encyclopeadia Brittanica collection is apparently a 'super-spy' or for want of a better phrase, an international man of mystery. Well, that's what it says on the cover anyway.

"Napoleon Ozonolysis - licensed to thrill - how are you Miss Funnyfanny?"

Obviously, I knew Napoleon (being the pig in Animal Farm) but the Ozzie thing was rather hampered by constant Black Sabbath tunes scooting around in my head - #"Finished with my woman coz she couldn't help me with my life....."#. chugga chugga

However, I finally got around to reading about Ozonolysis and quite frankly, it is as boring as shit. Simplistically, it involves mixing some crap with some other crap and then determining how saturated the compound becomes.

Great. So we have a small pig who completely fucked up invading Russia because it was winter (and they don't have proper winters in France) allied with pot-noodle chemistry.

What sort of super-spy is that?

It's like employing Stevie Wonder as a sniper and then wondering why everybody is dead.

It could be worse though - in a haphazard way. Napoleon could be a French dwarf wanting to conquer Russia because he heard there were steppes there (which are always handy if you want to change a light bulb or appear taller). Ozonolysis could be the study of erogenous zones of the planet in a 'green, stroking pandas' fashion.

#"People think I'm insane but you haven't even met my wife....."#. chugga chugga

Vote for the next book to get 'explained'

Sarsaparilla Sorcery
Lighting Maximilian
Plastic Reaction

6 comentarios:

john.g. dijo...

1st !

Plastic reaction sounds dangerously interesting!

Mr Farty dijo...

Sarsaparilla Sorcery - Itsakindalipsmackinmagic!

SpanishGoth dijo...

JG -> 'plastic' and 'dangerous' just makes me think of Michael Jackson

Mr Farty -> if you see Dick Van Dyke - twat him from me

But 1 vote each - all's fair in love and war - except in Zimbabwe

Sewmouse dijo...

Plastic Reaction please

PI dijo...

Is 'Plastic reaction' a book? There are so many BAS.

Daphne Wayne-Bough dijo...

Plastic Reaction could be the brother of Plastic Bertrand. Keepin' it Belge, bro.