jueves, julio 03, 2008

The Goth And The Pea Or Something

Since my somewhat idiotic accident, I have been cursed with only being able to sleep in one position (and no, it's not upside down in a fucking coffin).

Due to my delicate nature, I can only rest whilst lying on my side with my injured Gothic limb, slightly extended. I would imagine, it makes me look like half of a Village Person doing a semaphore version of (YM-ISTS - Y must I sing this shit).

Now I'm not sure if it's the painkillers that are ceasing to work but, for the last 3 days I can only manage 3 hour spurts. That might be impressive if I was a porn star but I'm not and, I was talking about sleep anyway.

For whatever bizarre reason (or punishment) it is my supposed good side that's causing the issue. After a few hours, it starts to feel like I am sleeping on a bed of nails. I have to get up and watch shit TV for an hour or so before I can lie down again.

I recall some fairy tale where they checked the authenticity of a princess by placing a pea under a mattress. Well Mr Birds Eye - guess fucking what? I don't want to be a bloody princess so stop pissing about with your peas or whatever frozen wares it is you are invading my nightmares with.

Being positive, which isn't always that easy for a Goth - shit TV in Belgique really does cater for the mentally retarded. They have this 'programme/advert/pervert fest' which features naked women doing a variety of bizarre things along with numbers you can call to speak to them.

As per the yUK (sic), they have a really small message (in English) at the end explaining how much per minute this wank-fest will cost. However, what they also have, in even smaller letters after that, is another message (in French) proclaiming - 'These characters are all fictitious and you cannot meet them in person'.

Realistically, I don't think that Johnny Kleenex - international wanker, can actually read anyway.

As for me - I'm too busy wondering about who 'pea'd' the bed to care about what Lolita is doing with that banana again.

10 comentarios:

Leni Qinan dijo...

About the Princess & the Pea: Check your mattress again: peas work only with royals. Maybe you’re Goth King and you still don’t know.

About the TV: I know it won’t comfort you, but it’s the same shit all over: You must pay if you want to watch something good.

About you: Sorry about the pain, Goth. Honest. You may have to tell your friend the doctor. It gives me some idea of what your accident was like. :(

About Lolita: Sorry, really sorry! :(

Hasta pronto, Goth. :)

Ms Kravitz

john.g. dijo...

Oh, perlease, you've only cut your fucking arm!! Stop whingeing!

PI dijo...

Good practice for when you get older. MTL can't sleep on his right side and I can't sleep on my left side so we are denied the bliss of sleeping spoon wise. Hope you are back to normal soon.

Stacie dijo...

Yikes Goth...hope you're feeling better soon. I find sleeping with peas under my bed only leads to moldy matress anyway so it's not all it's chalked up to be.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Ms Kravitz -> I'm doing an Aragorn thing and smoking shit whilst everything goes pear-shaped. As for the pain crap - it's a passing phase.

JG -> yeah and you got twatted by a leaf.... (granted it was still attached to the tree at the time)

Pat -> I don't want to get older - I ddon't want to turn into a crabapple - you are the exception that proves the rule

Stacie -> I'm not sure Mr Evil Birds Eye was only planting peas. He could have stashed any amount of frozen produce there

( . )( . ) dijo...

3 hour spurts hey... that does sound kinky.... just have a wank with your good hand before you go to sleep. That always helps me!!

JolietJake dijo...

don't phone those things they're rubbish, stick to youporn.

kimmyk dijo...

geez goth with you in your delicate nature and all i think you need someone to take care of you.

someone to bring you jack and tea. or just jack.

you take care of yourself my friend. and maybe try lima beans er green beans under the mattress if all else fails, throw some jerky under there for a late night snack.

Leni Qinan dijo...

Aragorn thing = looking for a ring, I suppose. Get her something nice then, -not too pear-shaped. it should be round!-. Get high!

Ms Kravitz -actually in concert tonight over here, haha-

SpanishGoth dijo...

(.)(.) -> thought the 3 hour spurts might appeal to you

JJake -> well I must accept the advice of an expert in this matter

Kimmy -> indeed - I'm thinking of saving up for one of those Oriental nurse maids

Ms Kravitz -> so he did indeed come your way....