Since my somewhat idiotic accident, I have been cursed with only being able to sleep in one position (and no, it's not upside down in a fucking coffin).
Due to my delicate nature, I can only rest whilst lying on my side with my injured Gothic limb, slightly extended. I would imagine, it makes me look like half of a Village Person doing a semaphore version of (YM-ISTS - Y must I sing this shit).
Now I'm not sure if it's the painkillers that are ceasing to work but, for the last 3 days I can only manage 3 hour spurts. That might be impressive if I was a porn star but I'm not and, I was talking about sleep anyway.
For whatever bizarre reason (or punishment) it is my supposed good side that's causing the issue. After a few hours, it starts to feel like I am sleeping on a bed of nails. I have to get up and watch shit TV for an hour or so before I can lie down again.
I recall some fairy tale where they checked the authenticity of a princess by placing a pea under a mattress. Well Mr Birds Eye - guess fucking what? I don't want to be a bloody princess so stop pissing about with your peas or whatever frozen wares it is you are invading my nightmares with.
Being positive, which isn't always that easy for a Goth - shit TV in Belgique really does cater for the mentally retarded. They have this 'programme/advert/pervert fest' which features naked women doing a variety of bizarre things along with numbers you can call to speak to them.
As per the yUK (sic), they have a really small message (in English) at the end explaining how much per minute this wank-fest will cost. However, what they also have, in even smaller letters after that, is another message (in French) proclaiming - 'These characters are all fictitious and you cannot meet them in person'.
Realistically, I don't think that Johnny Kleenex - international wanker, can actually read anyway.
As for me - I'm too busy wondering about who 'pea'd' the bed to care about what Lolita is doing with that banana again.