Are You A 'Leg' Man?

I don't have a preference from the list of :- HEAD or LEGS or BUMS.

This is a reference to the order in which you slice, bite or swallow in general.

Now, steady on tiger, I am talking about how you generally partake of Jelly Babies.

For those of you, not aware of these confectionary masterpieces, let me elucidate. 'Jelly Babies' are small pieces of jelly sweets, crafted into the form of.... wait for it... little people !!

Obviously, for the fucking idiots reading this, I am not talking about eating babies, that would be bloody stupid - (i.e. Tipper Gore - which rhymes with 'Fucking Whore' - fuck off and do something interesting. They're just fucking sweets) but jolly nice ones.

So, having procured a bag full of these sugary little rascals, and ignored the Gorey Bullshit - you have to decide on how to eat them and there are many methods you can partake in this, supposedly, oral delight - Por ejemplo:-

• The Pamela Anderson - shove it all in your mouth in one go
• The Elton John - you can start with the bum, but then it gets sticky
• The Ozzy Osbourne - bite the heads off first
• The Ziggy Freud - your mother has to lick it surreptiously
• The Vinnie Jones - take the legs first, munch the rest afterwards
• The George Michael - to be eaten in toilets and denied later
• The Britney Spears - shove them up your nose and watch your hair fall out

Of course, there may be other suggestions I may have missed.....