domingo, febrero 03, 2008

Songs Of Praise

For those of you not from the UK, Songs Of Praise is a TV programme broadcast every Sunday where some wizened old git presents a load of hyperbolic nonsense from a church or cathedral. Typically, they will harp on about how the lord is their shepherd and they are his/her/it's sheep.

This is interspersed with choral renditions of some crap hymns that no-one really knows the words too but, in a bizarre twist of fate, knowing that there will be TV cameras present - an entire flock of these sheep turn up to mumble through the words hoping to see themselves on TV.

Now, apart from the hypocritical twit presenting the show, you are deluged by archaic praises to some supposed god. It's not too bad now as there is Sky TV and Cable where you can watch naked beach volleyball instead but when I was growing up, there were only a few channels you could get and it was a choice of this, or Open University with some bearded muffin extrapolating parabolic curves or something.

Fuck that for a game of soldiers!

Why can't they update the Songs Of Praise format? They could use Metallica one week, Marilyn Manson the next week etc - that would be far more interesting. Por ejemplo, you could have the following:-

Metallica Songs Of Praise

Now, doesn't that sound more interesting than some blue-rinsed out of date crumpet eulogising about how great it is to be a 90-year old virgin?

I'm sure normal visitors to Goth World may have alternative suggestions but, for the 'god-squad', fuck off and leave me alone - you're missing your programme.....

9 comentarios:

john.g. dijo...

Where do I find the 'naked beach volleyball?' (hope it's womens).

john.g. dijo...

Shit, 1st!

( . )( . ) dijo...

thats a great idea. Im all for the new rockier metallica version of songs of praise, BRING IT ON *head bangs*

Daphne Wayne-Bough dijo...

When I was a gel, it was wall-to-wall religion on all 3 channels on a Sunday. Songs of Praise was a harmless singalong after the sanctimonious parables of David Kossoff or the sinister Jess Yates (father of Paula) (not biological - that was Hughie Green - no wonder the poor cow topped herself).

Now if you want some hot-chilli religious fervour, and you've got sat tv, get over to one of those African God channels (such as THE GOD CHANNEL) and hear some REAL fire and brimstone y'all. De Song ob Praise am an ABOMINASHUN! (Pace Alan Coren). I used to watch them for hours in open-mouthed fascination.

Tom dijo...

5th!

Apparently Paula Yates was found with Tylenol, Methamphetamine and Rohypnol. The other two kids were at Bob's place.

I'll get my coat...

Sewmouse dijo...

Unfortunately, the only Rolling Stones song I can think of that sort-of fits the genre is "Sympathy for the Devil" - and I suspect that might not go over real big with the Neocon Fundie crowd that usually watches those kind of shows.

john.g. dijo...

Daffers, you need to get out more!

SpanishGoth dijo...

JG -> 'naked beach volleyball' is on Sky Boobs TV, and I don't care if you shit first

(.)(.) -> appeals to me too, as does the idea of you shaking your..... hair

Daphne -> I remember the Yates/Green scenario - but opportunity only knocked once

Tom -> perhaps I should leave a disposable coat machine in the lobby for you?

Sewmouse -> I like Sympathy For The Devil - at least you didn't come up with that Cliff Pilchard song about devil women or something

JG -> Daffers would but she's quarantined ;-)

....You Sick Bastard dijo...

You should hear the Bif Naked version of Nothing Else Matters. She rocks it goth.