domingo, junio 08, 2008

Golf - My Fucking Arse

I should do this post in the style of my buddy Jonny Gihad, but I'm feeling far too sarcastic for that. Incidentally, you should read his response to the challenge I threw in his face (like a damp floorcloth) ) it's really quite good apart from the fascination about ONE particular actor.

Anyway - back to golf. A stupid game, played by perverts in costumes !!

Apparently, the theory is that you twat a ball with a stick and then talk bollocks whilst attempting to find the ball that you twatted.

Meanwhile, you have the oppprtunity to dress like a cunt. (Huggy from Starsky and Hutch is a role model).

I have the sticks (bag full of the bastard things), but I am not going on Pubic Transport with them - that would be far too hairy.

However, in theory, my Punjabi soul-mate is taking me to a big lawn, puntuated by holes, today.

This however has 3 pre-requisites:

1 - Hindi-boy remembers anything - (which I believe to be unlikely)
2 - His new car has not been stolen by 'scousers' - (I think the Germans are front of the queue)
3 - We have the cojones - (balls I have - they're not 'special' but at least I know where they're going)

I did play golf once before with my little brother (he's not little, he always carries a gun, and he has serious issues with anger management)

Oh we laughed - well I did. It was funny - to see grown men pissing their pants.

5 comentarios:

SpanishGoth dijo...

HA - first.

Oh shit, I have to put my clown outfit on

....You Sick Bastard dijo...

You're so fucking right! I hate fucking golf. Now if they start hitting the people on the sidelines with the stick every game then it would kick ass.

Then their's Nascar or what people in the states call it, "time away from dating your cousin to watch people go around in circles in a car for a few hours on your small screen TV in your 1 room trailer home".

Sewmouse dijo...

You HAVE to wear the silly clothes? It is mandatory? Or is that just to try and fit in to the pack and not stand out as a duffer?

john.g. dijo...

Ha! Fourth! Fuck off, golf is good!

SpanishGoth dijo...

YSB -> There are no sidelines in golf - they are called boundaries (which I think may be because of the....eek, should shut up now)

Sewmouse -> I never fit in, except in graveyards

JG -> golf is not good - it's dangerous for squiggles