Introducing oneself is always an interesting opening to any conversation - some might even say it was integral. Personally, I don't really give a shit - if people want to know who I am they can ask - I have no intention of wandering around like a lemming looking for a cliff saying "Eh oh, My name is..."
There are two things that triggered this thought process, and thus caused me to have a holiday from my holiday tales.
Firstly, some 'really interesting' person from somewhere I suppose, was being guided by the Vice President of Europe around our building this week. As I strode past on my way out for a cigarette, I was introduced as:-
"And this is....er Goth, and he's erm, scary".
"Yeah, right" I said and continued walking.
I've been introduced as many things before, but I don't recall being called 'scary' before - but I suppose the fact that the VP even knows who I am should mean something?
Secondly, there was an article about people with stupid names. Obviously, there are a lot of fuckwit parents on the planet who like to give their children stupid names to ensure they get the shit kicked out of them at school.
You have the downright nutty ones like Frank Zappa (kids named Dweezil and Moon Unit), the 'off my chopski' ones like Paula Yates (Peach and Fifi Trixabelle) and the just plain stupid like Dead-Hotel-Bloke Hilton (why call her Paris, when Bangkok is far more apt?).
Then you have people with surnames which are legitimate but the choice of first name is either callous or fucking idiotic.
So, my new competition is for the most idiotic combination of names (that can be found on Google) with first prize being a crucifixtion for the parents of my choosing.
And none of that choosing 'porno names' bullshit like Ben Dover, Cupid Stunt or Clit Eastwood.
6 comentarios:
Dear Mr G Force,
Whilst I appreciate your enthusiasm in coming first, you might want to consider your partners perspective
Dear Ms Kravitz,
Are you really going to go my way? Whilst I am glad that your crack is applaudable, is this something you wish to advertise?
Dear Goth,
I have been going your way for the last weeks and… so far, so good.
And no, I’m not advertising my crack. It certainly needs no publicity! (*butt-craking up –again- with laughter and falling off her chair*)
About names: This is not googled, not exactly a silly name, but genuine real life: there was a girl in my class at the faculty, whose name was Theresa Hangman Kills (in Spanish, of course, but it sounds as horrible as in English). She had a hard time when the professors called the roll.
((My question is: Why Mr Hangman and Miss Kills married without changing their family names? Do they deserve to be crucifixed with the winners of this blog's contest?))
I'm nervous about quoting names just now - having erred last week when I said Nicole Kidman had christened hers Sunday Roast when actually it is Sunday Rose. Still pretty daft.
Particularly as she was born on a Monday!?
:O)
I don't even have to go to google for this one, I have the unpleasant experience of knowing some of these fuckwits first hand. I went to school with a girl who's last name was Webb. Her dad remarried and had twins by his new wife. The boy was named Spider. I swear it..it was on his birth certificate! Spider Webb. Cruel..
Next up..Justin Case. His father was a minister in the small one horse town I came from. Justin Case. His father will be going to hell I'm sure, but the one that takes the cake? My husband worked with a guy named Mark that was his first name AND his last name, Mark Mark. you would think he would know how it feels but apparently he wanted to spread the misery because he had a kid and named him Quest Sean Mark Sean is pronounced Shawn. the kids name is Quest Shawn Mark. Question Mark? Seriously? You wanna do that to your kid? I hope the guy get's hit by a bus...
Stacie
I have a friend called Will Power. Honest guv, he really is. As you would expect, he doesn't have much will power, but I have (almost) given up pointing this out to him.
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