Day of Discovery

Hooray - it's not just me that's weird. Not that I give a flying chuff but it does make you wonder. I mean, what would happen if you weren't as screwed up as you thought you were? Yikes. Anything might happen. Anyway, having attended one of those Christmas Dinner things (suits and all) I have concluded that the only sane people in the world are myself and my invisible friend Slide Boy.

It is frightening to see powerful people dress up in 'jim-jams' in front of a room full of people. I understand the underlying psycholgical philosophy behind it but... it's still a grown person in pyjamas.

Looking on the Goth side - free alcohol, free food etc. People in pyjamas and silly santa suits - forgiven!!

I was late - always come last - it's a Goth thing. However, I was sat next to a particularly beautiful young lady and spent all the time worrying about the fact that I had forgotten to put any fragrance on. What might she think of me? I found it hard to concentrate on anything apart from the dress, the body and what might lie beneath it. Lovely if she took the time to talk to me but if you don't smell nice why would any decent woman want to talk with you in the first instance?! Perhaps I smelled of sex?! But how can that be as I am a virgin - must be an immaculate contradiction thing.

And now, mi Mariposa reclines on the sofa as I type away on my baby 'puter.

Oh the joys of residing in "Nerdsville" - like a 'blessing in disgust'. As Staind said "It's been awhile since I fooked things up, just like I always do".

Getting bored of my desk looking like the Starship Enterprise flight deck - puters everywhere. I want the old days when I was in a band - loving, rocking and drinking - guitars, empty bottles of Jack Daniels and amps everywhere. But I'm too old for that shit now. I have resposibilities. By-product of the loving-thing -> children. Not that I regret their existence for one second - they are my 'life-blood'. Life changes and you have to change with it.

On top of that I must undo all the screwed up shit I caused my butterfly because of my kids. Not because the kids can't let go but because their mother can't recognise when it's over. As Moist said "Push just a little too late - is this want you want, what you need, what you wanted me to be?"

And, whilst I'm on the topic of mini-me's I am going to readdress the fortunes of the wonderful foodstuff known as sweetcorn. Sorry T-Meister but you're on your own for this one. Mini-Gothess loves corn on the cob and I order it for her every opportunity that I get to see her. If she finds out you are insulting her favourite food stuff she will kick the crap out of you and I will be laughing too hard to help you. She's only 8 years old but I expect her to reach her 1st Dan in Karate by 11 and when she does, I will devote all my energy to ensuring that she can go to Japan to attain the next few levels. Even now she is scary, way beyond what I achieved in martial arts - and I thought I was good fighting for my country in competition (small country - Wales).

Soon be Christmas and we get to celebrate a guy getting nailed to a tree by getting gifts for peeps.

a luego,
S

ps shopping done already - gifts already handed to Satan Claus
pps if you're buggering off home for xmas now, best Gothic wishes and enjoy :-)