What goes around comes around. Or as the Reverend Earl J Hickey says "Do good things and good things happen to you, do bad things and....bad things happen to you".
Shit doesn't work for me. I tried being a nicer person but here I am - same place/same situation. Stupid time in the morning stuck with an erection you could swat squirrels with and no-one to play with. "Watch it fella, you could take somebodys eye out with that!". Highly unlikely I think. I don't think that my inch and a half of wriggling fury has to be registered as a lethal weapon just yet.
Poetry.com have announced that I am to be entered into their hall of fame. Wow, the little fella calmed down at the mention of their name. Probably bored the shit out of him like it does me. I know I can write poetry - I don't need some pompous twit to confirm it for me. I was just utilising the free web space and funky free printouts.
Now I just need to figure out how to take over the world. "Bwah ha ha" *in comicly Dr Evil fashion*. Actually, I don't know that I want to take over any world. It seems screwed up enough already without my intervention. If there is a Goth, I'm fairly sure that he/she/it was sufficiently stoned whilst manufacturing this existing enigma.
So, I'm off to see the doctor to get myself some viagra. I don't actually need it but I'm curious to see what will happen if I do take some - watch out squirrels ;-) The last time I saw Dr Irrelevant, he suggested/prescribed Xanax.
I didn't quite understand his instructions about dosages but did get the bit where he said - "do not mix with alcohol". To me, that's kind of like saying "do not piss into the wind".
Suitably tabletted up I drank a couple of beers. Strangest thing happened - I saved loads of money on beer. I scooted right past the drink loads of beer thing and straight to the walk into furniture mode. I would have pissed myself laughing if I knew who/what/why I was. Next time I saw Dr Strangelove he seemed somewhat put out.
Apparently I had taken 8 times the correct dosage even before I mixed it with alcohol. "But that was enough to knock an elephant out" - didn't work dude - skinny Goth takes the trophy!! Was still funny as fook! Hidden the rest of the tablets somewhere.....don't know where (but then they wouldn't be hidden if I did know).
Oh well, I suppose I can go back to bed now. Final quote from Rev. Hickey - "I'm just trying to be a better person".