sábado, diciembre 30, 2006

Expected Behaviour

A wonderful phrase I was given years ago whilst validating some software for a global company. When I explained that it didn't work and therefore there was no way on Goth's earth that I would sign off on it, the politics started. Meetings were called, conference calls scheduled but I had my proof.

When I was asked to explain my findings, I asked whether they wanted the short explanation or the long one. The short one. "Ok. It's a crock of shit!" So then the muppets requested the long version. Not going to bore you with the details but if a software package causes a computer to crash, it is crap. It is not expected behaviour for me. To them, it was. Maybe they had tested it also - and thus, was indeed expected.

Expected behaviour for me is like when I got caught in bed, by the father of a 16 year old girl - at the time, a very active, naked 16 year old girl. Yes, that was expected that he would try and kill me. To be fair, she had told me she was 18 years old and her body could quite justify that testament. It was also expected that, as he was 20 years older than I, running away really fast was an option that would work.

Expected behaviour again, as I prepare to return to the airport that, once again I will get "pulled" by security on the outward, and customs on the inward. Joys of the Gothic appearance. I wonder if gay people keep getting pulled with the expected consequence "oh, go on - search me". Sorry, that was a bit stereotypical but in my little knowledge of gay people, they do seem to be more in touch with their feelings, even though in certain societies they have to keep things quiet for fear of retribution or whatever.

Finally, I would just like to mention that I will be severely drunk on New Years Eve - with any luck, across all time zones in the world. It's going to take some doing but, as anyone would know me could testify, something that could certainly get classified under "expected behaviour".

a luego,

2 comentarios:

Anónimo dijo...

I will join on you that severely thing here in Texas.
Oh, and I get FELT UP by the creepy screeners at the airport EVERY SINGLE time. Yes, me, an old grandma. Just not a white old grandma.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Look on the bright side - you didn't get arrested like Diana Ross did in the same situation in the UK.

I flew out to Munich 2 days before Skippy the BUSH kangaroo sent troops into that place that I don't want to mention (you know where I mean). Flying back, 2 days after, I thought I had security figured, money in little bag, watch off, belt off etc. No such chuffin luck. They had the metal detectors so finely tuned my trouser zip set the fooker off.

Perhaps your problem is you just look cute. My problem is more to do with the long black hair etc (generally Marilyn Manson without the goofy eyeballs!). Oh, and my real name's not Brian.