martes, diciembre 18, 2007

Now That's A Target

Very few creatures scare or even worry me. I know people have phobias about, indeed I remember a posting on Phobias where someone said that "Anything with more than 4 legs that isn't a table is unnatural". Me? Dont' care.

Snakes? Not bothered - my brother used to keep them, my uncle still does.
Scorpions? Don't care - I'll just stamp on the little rascals.
Maggots? Used to them from my years as a FisherGoth.
Spiders? Love them - they eat flies.
Wasps? Hours of fun with a badminton racquet.
Sharks? So what, I'm not going in the water anyway.

Anyway, it brings me around to what I was going to talk about. Some Space Cadets in the jungle have discovered a RAT AS BIG AS A CAT.

I'm not afraid of rats - I rather like them as a target. It started when I was young and we lived in the country. We were cleaning out the garage when a rat ran across the floor from one pile of boxes to another. Papa Goth is afraid of rats and so he went running inside to fetch his rifle. This action merely caused me and my little brother to collapse in fits of laughter.

The laughter stopped on my fathers return, rifle in hand, to assassinate the rodent. His 'plan' for want of a better word, was that my brother and I should move boxes until the rat emerged and he would shoot it. Pure logic never works with someone suffering from fear, so explaining that the bullet would ricochet around the concrete garage didn't carry anyway. When the rat emerged, the bullet, as expected, ricocheted around the garage causing us to flee for our lives.

Years later, living in the country, I used to spend my evenings in the kitchen with a bottle of Jack Daniels and a high powered air rifle, potting off rats as they ran across the lawn. I was very accurate.. until the bottle was half consumed, then I wasn't so accurate but, it gave me hours of fun.

So to the new discovery, the CAT/RAT. I think even I could hit it having drunk all the bottle, as for my father? He was last seen carving a trail through the jungle at 100 miles an hour in the opposite direction.

Any other scary creatures I have missed?

8 comentarios:

john.g. dijo...


I saw that picture this morning, it's a big bugger, but looks harmless !

phoenix dijo...

You missed out my stepmother after a bottle of cheap wine, that's enough to send anyone running for the hills!!

SpanishGoth dijo...

JG -> It does indeed look harmless but, then again so does George Wanker Bush

Phoenix -> been awhile my dear - as for your stepmother - no worries, I have invested in a laser sight now ;-)

Honey dijo...

I used to have a pet rat named Lilly, she lived on my shoulder, I reckon they would be quite cool cat sized. If tame. You can train them better than dogs and they are just as loyal.
ahhhhhh sweet.

Gorilla Bananas dijo...

You've missed lions, crocodiles and rhino. They get mean when you laugh at them.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Honey -> I always thought that picture looked like a Santa hat - now I'm sure. But pet rats? Whatever next? Michael Jackson?

GB -> I'm not a big game hunter - more of a trivial pursuitist

Mr Farty dijo...

Ain't nothin as scary as a yoomin.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Mr Farty -> What's a 'yoomin'? Is it like a Mother Outlaw?