viernes, diciembre 07, 2007

The Power Of Language

Once upon, all people spoke the same language - they all said "Ug" and other grunty type words. But it couldn't last, and according to the bible (that handy reference book of nonsense):-

'The people decided to build a tower to the heavens'

(which they had to do properly as Lego wasn't invented then). And then comes the good bit:-

'The Lord came down to see the city and it's tower'

(now, excuse me, but if god is omnipresent, why does he feel the need to travel anywhere - he's already bloody there by definition)

Anyway, god got pissed off because it wasn't part of his plan at all. So he made them speak different languages and so they called the city Babel, because they couldn't agree on the spelling of 'babble'.

Thus all the people moved around the world, but not in a balloon as they hadn't been invented either. But the people were cunning and decided to name their languages after their countries and so the French spoke French, because their country was called France etc.

The next bit of the bible probably got relagated to The Apocrypha but I'm fairly sure that the bearded one said "Right, I need some religious wars to teach these bastards that I'm the clever one"

Finally, one person decided to invent a universal language, which he called Esperanto. God was mightily pissed off about this and thus shot him up the arse with a lightning bolt and he died.

In the end, god just moped on his thrown muttering to his angels "I gave them Hebrew, what more do they bloody want"

When an angel replied "well, they might like Latin for naming flowers and stuff"

At which point, god stormed off in a huff - before realising that he couldn't as he was ominpresent.....

16 comentarios:

zoe dijo...

even margot is expected to esperanto - i wonder what god would do to her.

Daphne Wayne-Bough dijo...

Very apposite post Goth, in view of the linguistic war going on in Belgium. Brussels feels like Babel sometimes, with bad English as the lingua franca. At least there are native speakers to ensure some standards, unlike with Esperanto. Nobody knows what it should sound like.

It was invented by a Pole. And having struggled with Polish for three years, I can't blame him.

john.g. dijo...

"God just moped on his own"! Why didn't the twat get a a proper motorbike?

SpanishGoth dijo...

Zoe -> But Twat doesn't exist in Esperanto - now wonder Margot was stumped

Daphne -> I'm not so sure it's a linguistic war in Belgium - more of a 'ere, get orf my territory thing

JG -> because god hadn't thought of motorbikes - he felt there was no need for speed (which customs don't either - funnily enough)

PI dijo...

Granted we have wined and dined but this puzzled me a trifle.
'god just moped on his thrown'
Don't mind me I sent an execrable tiramisu back tonight and it might have gone to my head.

Hill dijo...

Ah, yes, The Gospels "According to Goth."

ROTFLMAO!

Goth, baby, if you want to see what Texas cowgirls do on Saturdays, you know where to go....

:)

SpanishGoth dijo...

Pat -> so you got wined, dined and ?? you missed the best bit

Hill -> I DO want to see what Texas cowgirls do - grrrrrr

Stacie dijo...

you hittin' the JD again Goth? ;)

You crack me up...your logic works a lot like mine in some ways..I like that about you.
Stacie

PI dijo...

Who sez?

SpanishGoth dijo...

Stacie -> am not 'hitting' the JD, I am stroking it lovingly

Pat -> dunno - must have been someone ;-)

The Aunt dijo...

And where were YOU on Friday night?

SpanishGoth dijo...

Aunt -> Extracating myself from the shit

Remush dijo...

Originally Esperanto was called "la internacia lingvo".
Emmanuel had a similar problem: Jesus, the Christ, the Lord, the son of man, of God.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Remush -> good job they settled on 'that hippy wot got nailed to a tree' then

remush dijo...

You didn't read Cavanna's "Les Écritures" (ISBN 2-253-03400-2).
It's somewhat funnier than what you wrote, but less behaved.
(Only to read in moment of depression)

SpanishGoth dijo...

Remush -> I haven't read it yet and I don't do depression - that's the beauty of being Goth - the only way is up