So, apparently, Goths can have children.
It's a reproductive, rather than Gothic process. It has rather more to do with the SEX thing as opposed to the lipstick, although the 'make-up' can help in certain circumstances.
However, it is 14 years since mini-Goth appeared on this planet, and thus 15 years since virginity jumped out of the plane without a parachute.
I had hoped that the anniversary was going to be a spectacular event. Goth was not disappointed by the fireworks....
"I hate you", he announced, with subtle undertones.
"That's what birthdays are for" I replied, in a melancholic, but slightly despondent way.
Then I woke up, and I was on the plane....
Gifts had been purchased, flights organised, hotels booked - etc.
Like Britney and her Spears said - 'Ooops I fucked up again', in a rehabilitation, losing the plot and losing your hair type way.
The conception of it seemed so simple really......
Fuck it - rain-check.....
A: Travel to the United Kingdom of Stupidity
B: See Mini-Goth and say Happy Birthday
C: See Mini-Gothess and say hello
D: See Mrs Ex-Goth and say nothing
E: xplain why I cannot ever walk backwards and why.
Except, it didn't quite work that way. In fact, it couldn't have gone more 'pear-shaped' if I'd had a market stall tossing pork at the muslims, yelling "Catch !! Hotdog" - in a vegan way.
Consequently, I fucked up Mini-Goths birthday.
It wasn't intentional but, I will take all the blame for it being shit, in a "My dad fucked it up" sort of way.
The worst part is, it's not so much what I did, but what I didn't do.