Wordless Wednesday

And no, it's not one of those bloody lazy posts where I write bugger all and just let people leave comments. Far too boring for Goth World that. Oh no, you're going to have to your imagination and read the rest of the post to someone else using only mime - i.e. in the style of Marcel Marceau.

So, let's start with the easy stuff. You are stuck in a large plastic box, like a giant aquarium. (Don't worry - you only have to do it for a few seconds, not several weeks like that idiot David Blaine. There's something seriously wrong with that bloke.)

Next, pretend you are walking into a very strong wind, so lean forward and walk whilst actually going backwards. Kind of like a Michael Jackson style moonwalk. (If you do opt for the Michael Jackson thing though, you don't have to get sued for sleeping with children or have to shag any passing monkeys).

Now, you are walking down an imaginary flight of stairs, or if you are really clever, going down an escalator - any smartarse that can do a lift/elevator gets points deducted for being too clever.

Driving a car is next. You can choose any nationality to imitate but it should be clear from the mime, which nationality it is. This can be indicated by honking your horn incesantly for Italians, gesticulating wildly for French, and road rage for British. If your chosen nationality don't really drive cars, you can use another form of transport - for example, cramming into a Metro car like a sardine for Japanese, and clinging forlornly to any free space on a train for Indian.

Finally, you have to pretend to be Neo from The Matrix - which involves bending over backwards in slow motion whilst dodging bullets and the obligatory jumping in the air to do a karate kick and pausing in mid-air whilst the whole room revolves around you (nice trick if you can do it).

See, now wasn't that far more interesting than me just writing fuck all for a Wordless Wednesday???