miércoles, diciembre 19, 2007

Santa Does Not Exist


What sort of an exam question is that? Fucking wankers.

Of course he exists you myopic, philosophical twats. How else would children get presents at Christmas? Not everyone can have a Frequent Argos card. Just because rich bastards can buy their children small islands, like Great Britain, does not nullify the existence of a jolly fat man handing out presents to children who actually need them.

Then, the tossers get religious - "Well, it is supposed to be the birth date of Jesus" - according to whom? Even the most spotty scholars in your most insular institution have concurred that the hippy was born in 4AD. So either, the calendars are fucked or, you got your fucking dates wrong you muppets.

Therefore, just because a bunch of anally retentive scholars made a bodge, but can't admit it, we have to deny that some fat, happy, bearded, super-hero is giving gifts to children across the world without any religious affiliation?

So what that he needs to have mastered the art of time travel. Big fucking deal. I've been pissed many a time and thought it was still Monday when it was actually Wednesday. I time-travelled forward, and yes, it made me blow chunks in the process. He didn't, and he captivated all with his cherubic smile whilst quaffing Sherry in substantial volumes.

In conclusion, Santa does exist and anyone who says different should stop poking people up the bottom.

I reckon I failed my exam to get into The Vatican.

Looking on the bright side, I always considered my arse as 'EXIT ONLY' so it's not that big a loss.

Organised Religion?? - Fucking Arse Bandits - the lot of them.


6 comentarios:

Anónimo dijo...

Organized religion = arse bandits? Pah! Don't try to tell me that the catholic chu...oh, wait - I see what you did there.

john.g. dijo...

If Santa exists, he forgot our house last year, the miserable twat!

SpanishGoth dijo...

Tom -> ha ha, it was very around the back door of humour wasn't it

JG -> I will try and make sure that we pass your place this year - having been promoted to official 'helper' this year

( . )( . ) dijo...

I second that motion

Elaine dijo...

Best rationale for Santa I've ever seen. Think it could work for God?

SpanishGoth dijo...

( . )( . ) -> I 'third' your motion

Elaine -> you have to believe in God before he/she does anything...