viernes, diciembre 28, 2007

Paris Hilton Gets Fucked

Yes - THE Paris Hilton and no, it's not a charity event, although I think she might be needing it - the event thing rather than the other.

She has to raise funds somehow.

The 'queen of spending money' has just discovered that Grandpa Hilton - provider of funds for all her ludicrous activities and imbecilic behaviour, has donated all his money to charity.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

This rather hinders her credit card payments and ability to be frivolous beyond belief. In fact, the billions she was expecting have been given instead to worthy causes.

It's not very Gothic but, ok, I did allow myself a somewhat dignified, but essentially satisfying chortle.

Welcome to the real world, my myopic bimbo.

Now, you will actually have to do stuff for a change. This should be interesting in a fashion that you have never achieved in your 'well-earned' rise to stardom, money and 'pissing it all away' behaviour.

Just think of the career openings with such an illustrious and compelling CV - tsk, tsk *berates himself* I read 'did fuck all' when it should have said...'.

However, always the heroic Goth, I have some suggestions for new movies that she could take a starring role in (apart from the obvious pornographic material - released on the Internet, accidentally on purpose):-

  • The Good, The Bad and the Plain Fucking Stupid

  • "Ooops, There Goes My Inheritance Vicar"

  • Ready, Steady, Fucked

  • Gone In 60 Seconds

  • Nightmare On Cash Point

However, being a nice Goth, I feel compelled to help her (well, I don't really, I'm just trying to be a better person) - what other movies could she shamelessly star in to furnish her lavish lifestyle??

12 comentarios:

Gorilla Bananas dijo...

I hate to be the one to break it to you, Goth, but she's a multi-millionaire in her own right, as result of her cosmetics and modelling work. Being despised is no barrier to riches if there are others who like you.

Sewmouse dijo...

"Dumb, Dumber and Paris" perhaps?

john.g. dijo...

I'm with Gorilla, she earned $6.5 million dollars so far this year, and as he's only giving away 97% of the fortune, there's still $69 million to go round..............SKINT? I don't think so!

You Sick Bastard dijo...

Yeah, I heard about that. Their goes my hopes of marrying a rich blond bimbo who sleeps with people in hotels, now she's just a blond bimbo, that means nothing to me now.

SpanishGoth dijo...

GB -> I am actually well aware of her assets. I don't despise the young lady in question - I just despare of her idiocy

Sewmouse -> nice idea, let's run with that in the next issue

JG -> I know the bitch is not skint but that was the point

YSB -> I think any thoughts of marriage are premature to say the least. Didn't you shoot your last girlfriend?! Ooops, that was the other American I know...

Mr Farty dijo...

Spend It Like Beckham.

Dude, Where's My Cash?

Life Of Brainless.

Dawn Of The Dead Broke.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Mr Farty -> 'Life Of Brainless' is cool but I would assume Ponty Mython would be a step too far for the witless wonder

Daphne Wayne-Bough dijo...

She has plenty of options left. Marrying Michael Jackson and then going on I'm a Celebrity to name but two.

CresceNet dijo...

Gostei muito desse post e seu blog é muito interessante, vou passar por aqui sempre =) Depois dá uma passada lá no meu site, que é sobre o CresceNet, espero que goste. O endereço dele é http://www.provedorcrescenet.com . Um abraço.

You Sick Bastard dijo...

She only had the gun, she never shot me. Not sure about the other ones though. It'll be cool if she did though then I could tell people I had sex with a killer, but the sex sucked. Guess she sucked better at other things..... and on that note, have a Happy New Year!

JolietJake dijo...

Alien vs Predator, or was that Anna-Nicole Smith already?

Clitty Clitty Bang Bang

The Twat in the Hat

Schindler's Shopping List

SpanishGoth dijo...

Daphne -> she's too old to marry Michael Jackson

YSB -> sucked better at something else? - she liked lollipops then?

JJ -> very like the Clitty Clitty Bang Bang :-))