lunes, enero 14, 2008

Say NO To Animal Testing

Animal testing is completely abhorrent and should be banned immediately.

How people abide with such a disgusting practice is a complete and utter bloody disgrace.

For a start, it is utterley stupid to expect a dog to be able to hold a pencil - the poor bastards don't even have opposable thumbs, enabling correct usage of a writing implement - how the fuck are they going to tick the right boxes?!

And then, there's those poor, cute furry rabbits. Even assuming that said cuddly rabbits could even understand the questions posed by these animal testers, I would imagine it's a frigging nightmare trying to focus on the relevant questions with some crap test mascara running down your little furry face.

At least the monkeys made a stance - well, sort of, in so far as they refused to answer any more questions until they had received their full quota of Marlboro. (and not the crap imports from Morrocco either).

Therefore, I ask all the people in the world to say NO to animal testing.

Incidentally (he said, climbing off his black soap box briefly)... the reason for this opinionated ranting is that I observed an article in the paper recently which claimed that the 'fad' for healthy eating, has created a 300% increase in animal testing. Ergo, people want to eat healthy, but not animals, so they test the animals 300 times more to prove that..... it's just such a load of bollocks isn't it?!

So, for all you scientific boffins creating these tests - STOP testing my lunch with crap cosmetic products !!! OR ELSE..... you'll get a ruddy good punch on the bottom.

9 comentarios:

Tom dijo...

What exactly are they testing? I'm fine with feeding animals stuff - they may even like a nice prawn croquette with gratin dauphinoise and maybe a cheeky little Sancerre blanc on the side. However, if it came to anything made by Bernard Matthews or Dalepak (you know the ones - they take most of a pig, mash it up until it becomes a slurry of guts, then make it into a pork chop shape) I may have something to say about it.

While it's true that rabbits and many dogs will happily eat their own faeces, a Bernard Matthews Turkey Twizzler is just wrong.

Sewmouse dijo...

Tom's comment just put me right off my very sweet and blueberry-y Starbux blueberry muffin.

Damn you, Tom!

john.g. dijo...

I thought it was Beagles smoking too many Marlboro' that was the problem, or have they banned smoking with dogs?

SpanishGoth dijo...

Tom -> They test alsorts from cosmetics through to cigarettes. As for Matthews - that's probably why the fat bastard died early

Sewmouse -> don't worry about Tom - he's just bitter that I reminded him he had long hair - a long, long, long time ago

JG -> you can roll a spliff using a dog? - how bizarre

bernard matthews dijo...

Sure, I'm a fat bastard, but I am not dead.
I am merely trying to recover from an outbreak of bird flu.

Oh and as far as I know, smoking with dogs is only banned in the workplace. Drive past any research centre these days and you will notice groups of Beagles all standing about outside smoking. Makes you wonder if they ever get any work done!?

As for the mess...
...dog ends mainly!

Brom dijo...

They test the fire bell here every week... it's so alarming1

JolietJake dijo...

What about those monkeys that wrote Shakespeare? Is it too much to expect a lean cuisine biriyani after all that? You're mean.

Anyway I've given up smirkin' so you'll have to find another monkey to do your dirty work.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Bernard -> stop using Doris Stokes - you are dead and can fucking stay that way

Brom -> Fucking hell - Tarbys back in town ;-)

JJ -> the monkeys didn't as the typewriter wasn't invented until 100 years after Shakespeare shuffled off his mortal coil.

As for the smirkin' - I presume you mean cigarettes, not the bacardi-induced perpetual grin?!

Bernard Manning dijo...

Talking of dead fat bastards called Bernard.