jueves, enero 24, 2008

The Lost Sheep

So, according to The Burble, JC and his Sunshine Gang used to go around telling tales with a meaning to them. One of such Parables was that of The Lost Sheep.

Normally, I would have a look at the parable, paraphrase it partially and take the piss out of it. On this occassion though, it's so bloody idiotic to start with that I'm a bit lost myself.

The parable concerns a shepherd who has exactly 100 sheep. What the fuck he's doing with that exact number is a mystery but, suffice to say, the shit-for-brains shepherd loses 1 of them. Not 3 or 4, just 1 of them.

In itself so far, not a problem but that's when it starts to get a bit weird. He leaves the remaining 99 and goes off in search of the 1. Why? Is he fucking stupid? Even if he finds the missing ONE, by the time he gets back surely another 10 or 20 will have done a runner!

The Law Of Averages states that this should happen and thus the moron deserves to lose more than he will gain but, oh no, he has to go and find the missing ONE sheep.

Does he expect that the others will sit there quietly discussing how best they'd like to be cooked?

And then, just when you think that the tale can't get any more fucked up, according to the Gospel of Thomas (107), the shepherd says to this lost sheep, when he finds it.... 'I love you more than the other ninety-nine.'

Oh well that fucking explains it then. So the moral to the story is?.... see if you can guess?!

7 comentarios:

Brom dijo...

That reduced me to tears Boyo. Sheep stories always have that effect on me. Don't know why, look you.

panu dijo...

oh yes i understand. that was the buggered one. damn bestial tales. I always love a good one.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Brom -> being Welsh, I thought that might cause a tear to fall on your green wellies

Panu -> well, I tried to avoid the obvious sheep-shagging connection but I thought it might arise..... bloody religion

Sewmouse dijo...

The moral of the story is - if you want Dad to love you best - run away from home?

john.g. dijo...

Mint sauce, onion sauce, gravy, roast potatoes, carrots.........!

Grumpy dijo...

Are you inferring that John Cleese fucks sheep?

SpanishGoth dijo...

Sewmouse -> sounds a bit Freudian to me (oh, sorry, that's the shagging your own mother thing)

JG -> all but the carrots - otherwise they'll be nothing to tempt the rabbits into the trap/pie

Grumpy -> I would be 'implying' - you would be 'inferring'

*marches off having out-Meldrewed Meldrew*