domingo, enero 27, 2008

Orc Transport

Alright - I've had enough of pissing around with The Bible. It's a crock of fucking shit anyway.

Back to more earthly ranting.

Public Transport - bastards!

Granted I don't like the muppets who fail spectacularly in their aim to follow a timetable. I mean, Jesus Bloody Christ - you came up with the shit timetable in the first place so why not keep to it? Unless of course it's just a great big joke - well, ha, bloody ha - it's not fucking funny.

That's not what incenses me the most though. What really, really, really winds me up is being stuck in a carriage of one of their metal underground caterpillars, surrounded by Orcs.

The great, unwashed of the world, who unite to occupy MY space without the common courtesy to purchase and use deodorant first. What is it about hygiene that these bastards don't understand? Surely the little cloud of flies hovering around their heads is a bit of a giveaway.

Apparently not. The 'garlic-munching gobshites' want to come and stand in MY carriage shouting into their mobile phones like volume will make the signal carry further.

Guess what ORCS? It's not big and it's not fucking clever!!

Therefore I have a choice. Buy a car and trash the environment or buy one of those big clown flowers that squirts water and fill it with perfume instead. Hee hee - spray the bastards!! "'Cos Orcses don't smell very nice, do they my love?!" as Gollum would say.

Unfortunately, wearing a big flower on my jacket is not a very Gothic image. I suppose I could walk onto the Metro with an accordian - that's usually a good way to empty the carriage.

Or else I could just go and buy a car?

Suggestions.........

9 comentarios:

Ani dijo...

Yeah, but it could be a black flower. Aha, what about that?!

[I'll get my coat.]

Sewmouse dijo...

I wasn't aware that accordions were goth... but... hey... um...

I like the accordion idea.

john.g. dijo...

Goth, I don't think that by getting a car you are going to trash the planet!

SpanishGoth dijo...

Ani -> a black orchid would be nice - or maybe a pet Triffid?

Sewmouse -> accordians aren't Gothic - but you should watch people rush to switch carriages when someone boards carrying one

JG -> I wanted a Subaru Imprezza but I figured 'me - fast - wall - dead' (not a wise combination)

Daphne Wayne-Bough dijo...

Make sure it's a red one. :)

Tom dijo...

I used to travel on the Metro out to Kraainem (as 'twas there I used to live). The carriage was pretty much always empty and I prefer to stand near the doors and read a book. So, empty carriage, me standing by the door. Accordian player gets on, where does he stand? Oh yes. Noisy bastard never got any cash from me.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Daphne -> a red flower or a red car (perchance, a red nose?)

Tom -> Kraineem is the same line as me - still full of Orcs when I travel on it - although, a lot do seem to disembark at Montgomery...

( . )( . ) dijo...

I stopped using public transport when I left school. Who would want to. The freaks and crazys are just not worth the hassle, although would make for good blog fodder...

SpanishGoth dijo...

(.)(.) -> unfortunately, in Bruxelles it is cheaper to use public twitsport than to park a car - you just have to remember to sharpen the point on your umbrella before you venture out