domingo, enero 06, 2008

Sports Or Sex?

So, whilst peacefully minding my own business the other day, I overheard a conversation at the bar.

Firstly, it must be pointed out that I was there watching football. However, that was with the pre-agreement from Mariposa who doesn't actually appreciate me swearing at TV for (in her opinion) no apparent reason.

Anyway, the conversation went something like this:-

"So, come on Mr Barman. Which would you choose? Watching football or sex?"
"It depends on the game, but if it was the Champions League Final with my team playing, and Cameron Diaz turned up wanting a shag - I'd say 'Get out of the way of the fucking TV woman' "
"See, I told you" said one of the desperate housewives "Men prefer football to sex!"

I was tempted to intervene and point out that you could, in theory, watch football whilst having sex but decided discretion was the better part of valour.

In reality, if I was married to any of those harpies, I think I would opt for football any time - bloody hell, even crown green bowling would be preferable.

At half time (in the football match) I began to think back to various articles I have read about what crosses peoples minds whilst they are in the act of fornicating (shagging, to those of you without a dictionary). I recall some bloody strange things that people have thought about.

I would name a few but I thought that before polluting your minds I would let you answer.

Thus, get thinking - the strangest thing to cross one's mind whilst having sex?!!!

12 comentarios:

kimmyk dijo...

strangest thing i've ever thought about while knockin boots? the house that needs cleaned and the all the painting i want to get done.

then there's been times when i did my grocery list.

there was that one time when i stayed in the moment, but yeah not so much.

i never think about football though.

( . )( . ) dijo...

Hmmm.... I dont really think while im having sex, im kind of in the moment, although the first time I had sex in front of my kitten I was worried we were going to scar her for life....

Anónimo dijo...

Think during sex? It's difficult enough trying to coordinate all that moving around without adding yet another metabolic process into the equation.

Football or sex? Depends. I mean, you've got two extremes, haven't you? You could have either:

Anne Widdecombe in a pair of silk, crotchless knickers versus [insert your club here] in the Champion's League final.


Uma Thurman and an industrial-sized tub of whipping cream versus the FA cup 3rd round replay between Hull and Rushden and Diamonds.

Y'see - either way, it's an easy choice. For me the trouble would start if I had to choose between Nicole Kidman wearing anything (anything at all) and Chelsea in the Champion's League final. Whilst I admit that the chances of me scoring with Nicole are about as slim as Chelsea making it to the CL final, it'd be a tough call.

Brom dijo...

Wondering if should have been to the cashpoint.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Kimmy -> see, that's the problem when you lie on your back and stare at the ceiling - you can see it needs painting ;-)

(.)(.) -> I kind of gathered that from reading your blog

Tom -> Nicole Kidman eh? Aren't you a bit short for her?

Brom -> well, if you will insist on paying for it...

john.g. dijo...

It's been 8 years now! Not a shag. Cripples have all the luck!

You Sick Bastard dijo...

There's always half time, or if the chick was ok looking then I can make it last 2 minutes during commercials.

Cream dijo...

"I wonder whether there's gonna be any substitutions for the second half..."

Peach dijo...

thinking during sex?

bananas62 dijo...

Thinking during sex! I wonder if he wants to try....???? hummmmmm *pondering a new move* ;-)

Daphne Wayne-Bough dijo...


SpanishGoth dijo...

JG -> aye - bit of a (non) fucker that one :(

YSB -> love it 'make it last 2 minutes' !!

Cream -> nice.... and not just on the pitch?

Peach -> I believe some people do

Bananas -> hold onto that thought ;)

Daphne -> trust you to spoil the party with a swear word