lunes, noviembre 19, 2007

Sixty Years On

So apparently, the Queen and Prince Phillip have been married for 60 years, blah, blah, blah - boring. Who cares? Not me. All of the coverage on TV was boring as well.

What I was interested in was all the moments where the Queen had to say "Oh for fucks sake Phillip, put a sock in it" (in a regal type fashion). I mean, 60 years of Phillip spouting off would have been far more interesting. Here are just a few examples:-

To a driving instructor he met during a stroll in Oban, Scotland:
"How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them past the test?"

Comments to the World Wildlife Fund, on Chinese eating habits:
"If it has four legs and it's not a chair, if it has two wings and it flies but it's not an airplane, and if it swims and it's not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it."

When talking to some british students in China:
"you shouldn't stay here too long, or you'll turn slitty-eyed"

Comment when someone suggested in 1967 that a trip to Russia might improve diplomatic relations between Great Britain and the Soviets:
"The bastards murdered half my family."

Said during a severe recession in 1981:
"Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they're complaining they're unemployed."

To grieving residents of Lockerbie, Scotland, during a 1993 visit after a plane exploded and crashed into the town:
"People usually say that after a fire it's the water damage that's the worst. We're STILL trying to dry out Windsor castle."

Whilst on a tour of a factory in Edinburgh, Scotland, Prince Philip pointed out a fuse box that looked quite old:
"It looks like it was made by an Indian!"

On French Canadians during a visit to Toronto:
"I can't understand a word they say. They slur all their words."

On Fergie, the Duchess of York:
"Her behavior was a bit odd. I don't see her because I do not see much point."

On being introduced to the chairman of Britain's channel 4 television network:
"So YOU'RE responsible for the kind of crap channel 4 produces."

Goth bless him, as the Queen sadly shakes her head and kicks a corgi in frustration.

12 comentarios:

Tom Joad dijo...

I really couldn't give a monkey's if the thieving, snivelling bastards had been married for a thousand years - they're still wankers. OK, it was the Torygraph, but yesterday - on the day when nearly 15,000 (yes fifteen THOUSAND) people were killed by a cyclone - their lead story was a huge picture of Her Satanic Majesty and a suitably grovelling and sycophantic headline. Get some bleedin' perspective! Apologies for the hijack - pet peeve.

john.g. dijo...

But did the Bangladeshis give a fuck when we got bombed? I didn't see any aid!

Goth, he's a star. Not politically correct!

Ché l'écossais dijo...

She should start a blog.

My Royal Consort is a Blethering Idiot, or something.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Tom -> If you read it correctly, I did say at the beginning that I couldn't give a flying fuck how long they've been butt-fucking each other

JG -> Tx - I can be politically correct (as an assassin)

Che -> My Greek Idiot??

MKWM dijo...

No offence taken whatsoever but wait a minute here... Both Prince Philip and Queen Elizabeth are great-great-grandchildren of Queen Victoria and Philip is rather German. Besides, Greece got rid of every single expat king and queen and their issue. In fact, they are all banned. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Elaine dijo...

I am impressed that two people in spite of being subjected to the torturous existence that they lead have managed to remain together in what appears to be happiness for so long. I have nothing near their pressures and yet have only managed 13.5 years at a stretch. The happiness part has lasted longer.

Tom Joad dijo...

Well Goth, I did read it correctly but I thought it was a sentiment worth reiterating. Inbred mutants, the lot of 'em.

Daphne Wayne-Bough, dijo...

In the old cove's defence: 1 and 2 could apply to the French. On the Russians - he's right, they did. OK not half, but a few. His DNA was matched with that taken from the remains of Czar Nicholas II. On Fergie and Channel 4, can't see any problem. He and I speak perfect French and I can't understand the Quebecois either. I thought he was half Greek and half Danish? Those Battenbergs made lovely cakes.

The more I see of democracy (especially in Belgium) the more I think absolute monarchy couldn't be any worse. Revolution is a quicker route to regime change than waiting for the next general election (which will be rigged anyway).

Stacie dijo...

60 years! Wow...kinda makes you wonder how she hasn't killed him by now. I think I would have...
Stacie

SpanishGoth dijo...

Minky -> Wasn't aimed at you my dear - I like Grease (especially, Olivia NJ)

Elaine -> I'm sure you'd manage ok if you had their budget

Tom -> I'm not defending the un-elected spongers

Daphne -> Don't even get me started on Belgium

Stacie -> 'cos she can't shoot for shit ?!

Elaib Harvey dijo...

Member of royal family displays human tendancies shocker.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Elaib -> the only human tendency is death - thankfully