So apparently, the Queen and Prince Phillip have been married for 60 years, blah, blah, blah - boring. Who cares? Not me. All of the coverage on TV was boring as well.
What I was interested in was all the moments where the Queen had to say "Oh for fucks sake Phillip, put a sock in it" (in a regal type fashion). I mean, 60 years of Phillip spouting off would have been far more interesting. Here are just a few examples:-
To a driving instructor he met during a stroll in Oban, Scotland:
"How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them past the test?"
Comments to the World Wildlife Fund, on Chinese eating habits:
"If it has four legs and it's not a chair, if it has two wings and it flies but it's not an airplane, and if it swims and it's not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it."
When talking to some british students in China:
"you shouldn't stay here too long, or you'll turn slitty-eyed"
Comment when someone suggested in 1967 that a trip to Russia might improve diplomatic relations between Great Britain and the Soviets:
"The bastards murdered half my family."
Said during a severe recession in 1981:
"Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they're complaining they're unemployed."
To grieving residents of Lockerbie, Scotland, during a 1993 visit after a plane exploded and crashed into the town:
"People usually say that after a fire it's the water damage that's the worst. We're STILL trying to dry out Windsor castle."
Whilst on a tour of a factory in Edinburgh, Scotland, Prince Philip pointed out a fuse box that looked quite old:
"It looks like it was made by an Indian!"
On French Canadians during a visit to Toronto:
"I can't understand a word they say. They slur all their words."
On Fergie, the Duchess of York:
"Her behavior was a bit odd. I don't see her because I do not see much point."
On being introduced to the chairman of Britain's channel 4 television network:
"So YOU'RE responsible for the kind of crap channel 4 produces."
Goth bless him, as the Queen sadly shakes her head and kicks a corgi in frustration.