jueves, noviembre 01, 2007

Belgian Bureacracy

For a country that's shit at most things apart from covering chips with mayonnaise, it does seem does have it's finger on the pulse of creating fucking stupid laws and then applying them in a most rigorous fashion.

Por ejemplo, and this is a true story....

I agreed to help someone move some rubbish from a store room to a communal waste disposal site. Easy enough. Get a van, load the crap up, drive it to the dump site, and dispose of loaded crap in appropriate containers.

BUT, to use the site, you need an identity card showing that you live in the 'commune' (admin region within Belgium). Simple enough. Borrow one from some doddering old git who can hardly walk, and hey junko !

Except, that the site will not except the card. The conversation then proceeded thus:-

"It's not you in the picture" exclaimed the nincompoop in charge of waste disposal.
"Of course it's not me, idiot, he's fucking 82 years old and can hardly walk - that's why I'm driving the truck and lifting things"
"But he has to be here"
"Why? He's busy being old and talking to his flowers, reminiscing, repeating himself and old-type stuff"
"But he has to be here"
"So, you're saying that I have to drag the fossil from his flower-bed just to prove he exists?"
"Yes - he has to be here"

Boll-fucking-ucks !!! *but off I drive, throw Grandpa Flintstone into the truck and return*

"See !!! He fucking exists"
"Ok - you have 3 minutes"
"3 minutes to what? Unload this whole fucking truck?"
"Yes, because then it's our lunch-time"
"But you're not helping me to unload it, so what bloody difference does it make?!"
"It's lunch time"
"I got that the first time you fucking retard, but what difference does it make if you're eating cheese and reading the paper whilst I'm doing the hard work?"
"Article 39a...."
"Oh shut the fuck up and put some mayo on your cheese - I'll be done soon enough"

Meanwhile, a little voice can be heard faintly, in the back (ground)
"I'm sure I planted some petunias here"

8 comentarios:

PI dijo...

That'll teach you to help the aged. It is an international law that people in charge of dumps have to be first class b------s.

Sewmouse dijo...

"Short man" syndrome, I suspect.

Typical of the bureaucrats I have to deal with here too. One of my favorites: "You are not supposed to be processed here in this office, but if you demand to be, we can do that"

"Well, I'm not exactly DEMANDING, but it would be nice..."

"Ma'am - if you DEMAND, we can help you, otherwise you must go to your neighborhood office..."

"Ok. If it makes you happy, I DEMAND.."

"How may I help you?"

john.g. dijo...

Fucking typical! And to think our tosser of a PM wants us to join those wankers!1

Stacie dijo...

Oh man I HATE beurocracy like that! Makes no sense what so ever. and poor grandpa....just let the poor guy stay home with his flowers for crying out loud...those *wankers!(*similar to your tossers I imagine)

kimmyk dijo...

shoulda ate his sammich goth.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Pat -> Steady on tiger - not all dump-people are shit, only the number 2's

Sewmouse -> yikes !! seems a rather demanding environment

JG -> your 'tosser of a PM' not mine - in Goth World anyone spouting politics spontaneously combusts

Stacie -> I didn't really drag Grandpa Flintstone there - he was far too busy talking nonsense

Kimmy -> 'it' was a she. Granted there was probably some designer stubble somewhere but I didn't stay to find out

Princess of the Universe dijo...

Sweetie I think you have some anger issues.
I like fries with mayo...

SpanishGoth dijo...

Princess -> I have no 'anger issues' at all, but I do have a gun.... bullets too.....

then again, I like butterflies