Unfortunately, the cynical side of my nature appears to be blocking the process somewhat. Therefore I have decided it is in the best interests of humanity (and my bank balance) to throw the issue open to cyber-world in the hope that you come up with some better ideas that I can shamelessly steal and fuck off to the Caribbean with.
And before you start any of that premature cogitation stuff, these are the ideas I have already made my Gothic Cat eat:-
THE IDIOTS GUIDE TO:
- Carpentry - "Don't nail him to a tree - he could be famous or anything"
- Computers - "Try turning the bastard thing on you...."
- Cookery - Food, Microwave, PING (and silver foil, whilst funny as fuck, is not a good option in the microwave)
- Christmas - Just buy loads of shit that no-one wants (but keep the receipt)
- Chess - Fucking boring, so don't do it. Just Say NO
Now as you may have noticed, I have only used the letter C - and I skillfully avoided the word 'Cunts', nearly.
Anyway, your suggestions for my new series of books would be appreciated and, if all goes to plan, I will buy the suggester of the most suggestive suggestion, a castle in Scotland (or somewhere equally shit that no-one wants to live).
HA - put that in your Potter-Pipe and smoke it Rowling.....
7 comentarios:
Crochet!Apparently you get hooked.
Mobile phones: No we're not impressed. It's a phone.
TV: Don't.
Cats: Obey.
Crisps: Salt and Vinegar should be blue. BLUE, I tell you.
Housework: leave it! After three years the dust stops growing. Proven fact.
One more thing; Tom Joad, salt and vineger crisps are GREEN. Cheese and Onion are BLUE.
End of "discussion".
JJ - I beg to differ. When I were a lad, Golden Wonder and Smith's Salt and Vinegar were blue. I blame Walker's.
When I were a lad, I mean gel, you got plain crisps with a little blue twist of paper with salt in it. Now that's class.
Then again, I remember threepenny bits.
JG -> shouldn't that be 'get hooped'?
Tom -> if it makes a phone call, it does it's job - not so sure about the crisps though
Pat -> but that's why cleaners were invented
JJ -> your idiots guide to women should be interesting....
and I like the blank piece of paper thing - sounds like most project plans I've been given
Tom -> I might have to concur with you on that
Daphne -> I remember salt n shake crisps and I'm not old at all
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