jueves, octubre 04, 2007

Being Welsh

It's not that easy, being Welsh. I know, as that's what I am - for richer or poorer, but always, Wales is in my veins.

First, you have to differentiate between North and South Wales. Makes a big fucking difference does that, you know.

Second, you have to hate the English - bastards introduced central heating, and umbrellas and stuff. Had fuck all to do with the Italians, or Romans as they were called then, wandering past and saying things like "If you build these roads in a straight line, you wouldn't crash into trees so often" - "Fuck off, we're Welsh and we like trees, don't we Dewi ?!!"

Third, you must create a language that is no use to anyone, in the world, ever. Except for Patagonia, but that doesn't count as no-one knows where the fuck it is to start with.

Other things you could do?
  • Create your own TV channel (pronounced S Pedwar Eck) to show shit programmes that nobody wants to watch
  • Invent an Eisteddfod to showcase your lack of talent
  • Create small towns with names that are longer to pronounce than the time it takes to traverse them
  • Set fire to holiday cottages for no apparent, sorry, logical, reason
  • Enforce the children to play rugby, and hope that when they grow up, they might still like it
  • Love sheep, in an unconditional way

Fuckin Gleaming

But, being Welsh, we did give the world Manic Street Preachers - good, Charlotte Church - bad, Ryan Giggs - good, Tom Jones - Gaaarrrgh

*wanders off in the direction of Spain, mutterring to himself*

13 comentarios:

Anónimo dijo...


the usage of the Celtic language, as in Brittany (fr)!
The red dragon who represents the Bretons!
And Merlin forgiveness! ' Myrddin ' this I understands!

But the leek (cenhinem)?

Laura dijo...

...and Catatonia. And being of a Welsh last name, as simple as it seems to us, imagine spelling it to a French speaker

SpanishGoth dijo...

Yeah, we ran out of onions so we had to use the leek instead - if only we could have punctured the tyres of the Frenchmen who were riding away with them....

Drama Queen dijo...

Play the Scots at rugby and not really care who wins as long as we all hate the English?

Anónimo dijo...

A French speaker can always spell a name, it is to pronounce it that that become more complicated!

This explains it!
Which in been able to burst the tyres of my carrosse ?

I must have had to make the leek(hurdy-gurdy French expression which means « faire le pied de grue » attendre…) wait in rank of onions (for another expression) to be repaired.

The Gallic one that I am was victim of Welsh ?
Old devil !

john.g. dijo...

Welsh, f*cking Welsh? I knew there was something funny! My 'sisters'' husband is a flock botherer too!

He's a good laugh as well though boyo, see? I suppose you have to be!

Princess of the Universe dijo...

I just found out this past summer that I have some Welsh in me. I did think it was cool at the time....

SpanishGoth dijo...

DQ -> Long time, no feel. I don't hate all the English - just most of them

Dip-Dop -> Interesting. I guess you know that the only way of swearing in Welsh involves the devil ?!

JG -> So get the flock out of here ;-)

Princess -> I could put some Welsh into you and it would not be cool......

Mr Farty dijo...

Apart from burning holiday cottages (at least I don't think we've gotten around to that yet), you could be talking about being Scotch.

Shit "ethnic" tv - check.
The Mod - check.
Auchtershoogle - check.
Rugby - Aargh! - check.
Sheep-shagging - hey, I was 18 and drunk. Are you going to hold it against me?

I quite like Charlotte Church.

Anónimo dijo...

Yes, like making lend oath to the Breton ones!
Between Welsh and Breton the border is thin!
The Celtic languages very close to the "cornique" and to "Breton" (from France), which all belong to the same said branch "Brittonique".
A lot of similarity!?

SpanishGoth dijo...

Mr Farty -> I know the Celtic brethren and the cottage thing wasn't my idea at all - I said 'Cottage Pie?' not cottage fire but, am still proud to be Welsh - apart from Charlotte the Harlot

Dip-Dop -> bizarrely enough, I can speak Breton as I lived on Jersey for some time but Welsh is closer to German, apart from the silly walking stuff

japanesewhispers dijo...

I'm so confused. I thought you were a Spanish Goth and not a Welsh one!?

SpanishGoth dijo...

JW -> sorry to confucious. I was born in Wales but was living in Spain when I started the blog. Now, I'm living in Belgium, as you doodle-do.