lunes, octubre 29, 2007

The Evil Orchestra

Too many times, I have been watching a film trying to figure out what the fuck was going on when #dah dah, dee doo doo# - "O fuck, he/she'll be dead in a minute then" - and there, lurking in the backgroud, is Phil and his harmonic orchestra.

You completely spoiled the scary bit you twats !!

I mean, imagine the scene - a grey misty morning in a Chicago dockyard. The sleek black Cadillac slows to a crawl, as some fat fucker doing an impression of a hamster on drugs, burbles on about people never leaving the family when.......#DA DA DAAAAAH# - Fucking duck ! - he's got a cello, it's not a violin in that case at all!!!" says the only person to get out alive.

In Westerns, it also happens. It's ok to hear the rhythmic tub-thumping of native americans having a tempestuous day, but if it changes to Lalo Schiffren style timponium rocking - it's not a fucking good day to be anything else other than invisible.

Movies in space? - sorry, when you hear the orchestra starting to play #DA DA DEE DA# - leg it !!! That means Dark Vader and his asthma issue is coming, and he's not going to be very happy - he's still pissed off at getting arse-whipped by a muppet.

It's no use trying to escape the fuckers, in horror films either. #Da, dee da da# (in an eerily spooky type B-flat minor fashion) - IT'S BE-FUCKING-HIND YOU - you scream before some mutant vampire octopus starts conducting the orchestra hiding in the woods.

So, top tip - if you hear music - run away..... really fucking fast, as fast as your legs, wheels, or whatever's left will carry you

This has been a pubic information notice from Goth World

7 comentarios:

Sewmouse dijo...

Things like that never happen in RealLife(tm). Imagine if you always had that kind of spooky-music warning before something bad happened.

My life has no sound-track - other than for road trips, and that is mostly a lot of road music to keep me awake.

I think a sound-track would be awesome - but not a laugh-track, as I suspect everyone would laugh at what I consider to be the more tragic bits.

john.g. dijo...

It's the angels music that gets me!

Stacie dijo...

mutant vampire octopus???? What the hell kind of movies are you watching over there? Sheesh! and you think *I* need to get out more!


Daphne Wayne-Bough dijo...

Yes indeed, and here's a fine example of that very thang.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Sewmouse -> perhaps you haven't plugged in your mental headphones?!

JG -> I fucking hate Robbie Williams

Stacie -> some strange ones - that's for sure... and I do get out of the crypt quite a lot

Daphne -> friends of yours?

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