miércoles, octubre 24, 2007

Chu Fuck Wits

NOTE * This is actually based on a true story, bizarre as it sounds. *

A Chinese gang (gang of morons from the sound of it) decided to produce some forged UK currency. In itself, an interesting plan until you find out how they decided to do it.

Firstly, they contact the Bank of England (mistake number 1) informing them that they have a number of £1,000 notes that they want to exchange for smaller notes. As the £1,000 note has not been issued in the UK for 60 years (mistake number 2), their research is a little bit lacking. However, as the Bank of England have some of the strictest security in the world, the gang are invited for a meeting, with the police obviously.

Feeling somewhat smug, they then claim to have a number of £500,000 notes (which have never been issued - I'm stopping counting mistakes now as there are too many). Apart from that there are also major discrepencies in the forgeries like incorrect signatures, and were, in the words of the prosecution "slightly resembling bank notes".

Undetered, the 'fuck wit' gang turn up with £28 billion worth of forged notes. Now I'm pretty sure that most people would have been wise enough not to try and get that amount of money without raising alarm bells. Unfortunately, they've read the wrong fortune cookie or something.

So, in they roll with their forged notes (in a wheelbarrow presumably) and then look somewhat surprised when they get arrested.

What a bunch of idiots. They deserve to be locked up for sheer stupidity and to protect themselves from their brains.

It will be interesting to find out what they wanted to change the money into. I mean, £28 billion of even £100 notes is going to be fucking heavy. Still, I'm sure they will have a few years to figure out what mistakes they made.

8 comentarios:

john.g. dijo...

First!!!!

I read about these inept muppets too!

JolietJake dijo...

they should have gone to a Chinese Money Laundry instead

Tom Joad dijo...

That's a good tale. Of course, they should have just gone there with 28 million-pound notes. Much easier to carry.

zoe dijo...

i hope jack bauer tortured them. that will teach the chinese not to mess with jack.

SpanishGoth dijo...

JG -> incredible stupidity wasn't it?

JJ -> indeed - Jackie Chan could have kung fu kicked it dry

Tom -> they probably would have if they'd thought of it

Zoe -> you and Jack Bauer indeed - do you have posters on your wall?

Stacie dijo...

That's hilarious! I always love reading about the mistakes that criminals make, it's always the ones trying to rob banks that make the stupidest mistakes. We've had some doozies here in the states, but this chinese gang takes the cake!

Chopski dijo...

Reminds me of the time I went to the Co-op on a Sunday morning for a pint of milk. I gave the cashier a £500,000 note and the useless bitch didn't have enough change!!

SpanishGoth dijo...

Stacie -> I've seen some of those muppets in the States - that's where the Darwin Awards originated

Chopski -> you'd have been ok if you'd have bought toilet roll too