martes, octubre 23, 2007

The Laws of Rallying (with a caravan)

Another Challenge

Normally, I don't do anything about challenges, like the 'Name 5 favourite names for your pets' type shit but, the concept of tying 5 unconnected words together into a (relatively) coherrent posting - well, that's just fun. Therefore, all you have to do is figure out what the FIVE words are.......


The Laws of Rallying (with a caravan)

Firstly, I'm talking about rallying in the 'drive like a fucking lunatic through a forest' sense, not marching your fellow co-workers to the factory gate just because the assembly lines have munched one of your lazy bastard cow-workers type rally.

Now, in itself, they have almost perfected this art form so it's about time they upped the ante. Let's have the fuckers towing trailers, or even more fun, towing caravans (preferably, with grandma miggins still sat on the loo inside). It seems to me (in my own bizarre way) that it's a perfect evolution of the sport.

Jeremy Clarkson and the guys would love it. It make no sense at all regarding the laws of physics, whether that's metaphysics or geophysics or any of those physics crap that I missed in school as I was either behind the bike shed or in the pub.

Of course, with a relative amount of circumspection, cogitation and general thinking using dead big and clever words, this plan is clearly as mad as a hat full of badgers, but it would be funny as fuck.

I mean, anyone who wants to go anywhere in a caravan doesn't understand the concept of the word HOTEL which is why they all drive so slowly. It's almost as if they are expecting to come over the brow of a hill and go "Fuck - it's a cliff !! I told you this was going to happen Edna".

I'd pay to watch the shit. "3-2-1 go-go-go!!!" and the shitty car and caravan go hurtling down a dirt road into a forest.

Plus, the extra bonus is that those fucking idiots who choose to stand on the outside of a bend would get totally wiped out when Stig loses control of the vehicle and goes 'off-road' as they would not only get broadsided by the Austin Maxi but any of the dweebs who were laughing would get totally twatted by the two-berth with inbuilt portaloo, attached by a towbar following at high speed.

You wouldn't even have to change the acronym WRC - instead of World Rally Championship, it could be World Rallying Caravans.

Fucking hell - it's just so crazy an idea, I might even try it. Or perhaps I'll just forward the idea to the Top Gear guys and then laugh like a banshee when they actually try it.

(And.... if anyone can guess the five words from that - I'll be bloody impressed)

16 comentarios:

Ani dijo...

Caravan, loo, geophysics, cogitation and ummm... banshee.

I'll have my prize now, please.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Nice try Ani but no (as in not correct, not as in you can't have the prize) - I suppose I can tell you that you got 1 word out of the 5

Tom Joad dijo...

Rallying
Physics
Badger
Edna (do proper nouns count?)
Portaloo

Ani, you never had a chance - the prize is, like, totally mine dude! :-)

Ani dijo...

Damn. But, but... I love prizes!

Tom, you're not even paying attention. He said I got one of five and you did not repeat any of mine which means, as everyone knows, that you got at least one wrong. So there. :P

Tom Joad dijo...

He said "I suppose I can tell you..." that's not the same as "You got..."

I didn't want the prize anyway :-(

Keith dijo...

S'easy peasy, cos you underlined them all! You silly twat.
1) Jeremy
2) Clarkson
3) Austin
4) Maxi
4.25) WRC
4.50) Top
5) Gear
That's too bleeding obvious! Could be:
1) fucking
2) bleeding
3) shit
4) lunatics
5) crap (I made that one up)

Chopski dijo...

Caravan, physics, munched, acronym and cicumspection.

We have a stock car racing track nearby and they sometimes race towing caravans!

MKWM dijo...

Hotel
Caravan
Shed
Pub
Fucker

or "Living in a yellow caravan", don't we all?

john.g. dijo...

1; cow-workers
2; miggins
3; metaphysics
4; badgers
5; portaloo.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Tom -> congrats on getting 0/5

Ani -> hee hee, you tell him ;-)

Keith -> nice idea, but once again 0/5

Chopski -> nice try dude, and an improvement at least 1/5

Minky -> sorry, 0/5 and I thought we were living in a yellow submarine?!

JG -> sorry also matey, another 0/5 score although your list does provide interesting theories

PI dijo...

Just wondering; can one reverse in a caravan?

Tom Joad dijo...

OK, got it this time:

in
the
a
to
and

Easy when you know how!

Ani dijo...

Fine. I am willing to share MY prize with Chopski.

There IS a prize, right Goth? ;)

SpanishGoth dijo...

Pat -> Yes you can, it's not that difficult

Tom -> Nope - nowhere near ;-)

Ani -> but no-one got the five !!

JolietJake dijo...

Dutchmen, Pickett, Einstein, Drugs, Porridge.

I was reading between the lines, that's how I read.

SpanishGoth dijo...

JJ -> you might want to get those glasses refocused then

TO ALL, the 5 words were:-

Trailer
Circumspection
Evolution
Assembly
Geophysics