martes, febrero 06, 2007

A Gothic Dilemma

"Whitney Houston, we have a problem" - not entirely true but I have to use bullshit to address this issue. As you may or may not be aware (but will be now) I have multiplied. Existing in this world are two Mini-Goths who I am not allowed to see for a variety of nonsensical reasons. This causes me great pain and anguish which, unfortunately, also imposes it's sorry arse on mi Mariposa.

So, wherein lies the dilemma? Because I have started receiving e-mails supposedly from the eldest Mini-Goth. "Hooray" I don't hear you cry. That's a good thing right? In theory, yes. It could mean that the opression ban has been lifted - which would be nice, in a cute, fluffy and heart-warming way. However, it could also be complete bollocks - another ruse by Evil X to once again thrust the dagger of contempt into my slowly mending heart.

Thus, stuck between a rock and a hard place I lie. Prone, vulnerable and, to be honest, scared shitless. If I make the wrong decision, I'm FUBARred. Do I reach out and try, maybe to be brought down in flames or ignore and, well, die in the fire of complancy? Either way, I lose.

I wish I had the opportunity to confront MG face to face, then I could see if the Mistress of Puppets was dictating what was being said.

Common sense tells me to walk away, love tells me to stay. Realistically, I have little choice. Like a new inmate in prison, I have to stand there naked and hope, that just once, I don't get truly butt-fucked. I can't afford, emotionally, to not take the chance to converse with MY MG's.

Oh well, pants down, arse in the air and fingers crossed.

a luego,
S

ps whatever happens my children, I love you unconditionally and forever.

23 comentarios:

MKWM dijo...

You must indeed take the chance, Goth Master, besides, you will soon realise whether Mini Goth writes the mails by himself.

Drama Queen dijo...

I think you have to write. Imagine it IS your mini boy Goth. Imagine he has fought for the right to write to you, evil-she-women has given in, lets him write and you don’t reply?

Do it and you’ll soon know if strings ARE being pulled. Besides is he not at an age were he would be questioning things for himself and, perhaps, feels the need for a father/son relationship?

Tippler dijo...

Tough one, mate.

But only 'tough' because you have no choice at all.

There, problem solved. No dilemma. Give it a whirl.

SpanishGoth dijo...

I already did write - I can't afford to take the chance if he is reaching out to me. I would rather be crushed like a rose than see him damaged in any way.....

GO GOTH GO :-)

Drama Queen dijo...

*hum* and there’s us thinking you were asking our advice and all?

MKWM dijo...

He just wanted a confirmation from us, DQ, to know he was thinking the right way! Isn't it so, Goth Master?

SpanishGoth dijo...

By writing it, it made me think about it. By posting it, it made me action it. By reading your replies, I confirmed it.....

It wasn't just a means of getting reaction ladies and gents :-)

Drama Queen dijo...

I'm just a' teasing!!!

Ready for the keys to mine yet Master?? or shall I chuck them over to Minky?

MKWM dijo...

Me?! Not yet, DQ. I told you in French already, "as late as possible this week". I will start writing tonight, tomorrow is the choir thing. You won't have it before Thursday evening, I'm afraid.

Keep up the correspondance with the MGs, both of them. The eldest one should also write for the little one.

SpanishGoth dijo...

It's ok MK, calm down, I took the keys, used the bathroom, went through the underwear drawer and have returned said keys now so I have time methinks ;-)

There's some funky underwear there though - very Queen like.....

SpanishGoth dijo...

sorry *blushes* should have said YOU have timer DOH!

Drama Queen dijo...

I was joking MK. No hurry at all my dear. I think Teeny might step forward next. Goth has left his mark for now. And Goth did you see my 300 bras - yes I kid you not, a result of my days as a lingerie buyer, pre cosmetics. . .

SpanishGoth dijo...

Of course I did - wearing a lovely little number right now. Will return it, I promise ;-)

MKWM dijo...

300 bras?! with the matching knickers, I presume? Excuse me, Goth Master, but where could you be wearing that woman's thing?

Of course, I am as calm as can be!
I liked today's guest blogger very much DQ. Now I really wonder what to write... but I think I have something in mind already.

Going Through a Tough Time dijo...

As a mum myself and having the added knowledge of having a probably soon to be x, she of the evil x variety should be ashamed to call herself a mother,but that's stating the obvious to you isn't it. you will know very soon if it's Mini goth or not because if it's not by the sounds of evil x she won't be able to resist letting you know it. But keep the faith children do have minds of their own and will see her for what she is.It wont take long before they assert their own wishes. x

Drama Queen dijo...

Yes, 300 bras WITH matching briefs. . .ALWAYS!

And hello 'Going through a tough' time, its nice to see you here!

I believe your underwear collection to be rather impressive also. . .well if the soon to be (maybe) ex is still providing in THAT area - hell he seems to have neglected all his other duties. . .

SpanishGoth dijo...

MK -> wearing bra in the usual place, on my chest to stop my volumeiffic breasts from bouncing...

GTaTT -> sorry to hear you are having a similar trauma - good luck and may Goth be with you (if you need a weird ear to listen, I'm your Goth) and tx for dropping by

DQ -> Only borrowed the bra, my bum was too big for the briefs ;-) will return said bra soon my love (needs adjusting I think ;-)

Drama Queen dijo...

Bit worried that my bra fitted though?

As for your new visitor. She is actually related to me - did you know that??!

I think it would be good for her to lean on your shoulder for a bit. You are a man of wisdom.

Ps Finally got my hands on upfront mag. My picture looks good :-)

SpanishGoth dijo...

No I didn't know she was related. Bra fitting thing - yer, right. Back in the real world. As for advice, no problemo, pass on my e-mail addy if she wants to keep it out of the blogging comm.

The pic, T had already sorted before I mailed it to him...so tx to him not I, my love

Drama Queen dijo...

yes, she is my lovely Aunt. And the wanker giving her a hard time is my Uncle. Actually the Uncle is the blood line. . .

I might ask if she wants your details. And thanks for picture efforts anyway :-)

I say Aunt but there is only 9 short years between us and I used to live with her. . .

SpanishGoth dijo...

Whatever I can do - I will do.

Going Through a Tough Time dijo...

hey DQ you missed out 'she is my HOT auntie'I need pepping up right now remember! I would love any pearls of wisdom that are thrown at me as I seem to be running out of my own and the shrink by proxy suggestion sounds a great idea we could start a kitty going to help with the fees! sure we're all messed up somewhere along the line.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Well, it would appear you have my e-mail addy - depends if you want advice in the public domain or private. I'm easy either way.

Fire away, I'm listening