viernes, junio 22, 2007

Honey, I Fucked The Kids up

I Miss Them So Much, I Could Die

It's one thing, fucking up a relationship - quite another, fucking your kids lives up. Honey, you saw it tonight - yes, that's the reason I couldn't put myself in the same room as those cherubs. It hurts too much. I have cried so many tears that it pains me too much to do so again.

I am actually, very good with children - if you don't pressurise me into being so.

I am lucky that I have a mini-Goth who is talented, beautiful and brave - articulate, and artistic. Unfortunately, he has nowhere near the capacity for evil I possess. But, his mother will not allow me to protect him. I am not allowed to go into his school, rip the beating hearts of his oppressors and gorge on their hearts while they bleed to death.

I have a mini-Gothess who is stubborn, looks like a fairy-tale princess and will kick the crap out of anyone who annoys her. She is artistic also, but sensitive in a different way. She will never allow herself to be dominated, which may be a good thing but maybe not. She doesn't need protecting but again, I am not allowed to protect her.

I would protect their mother too but, I am not allowed to do so.

Basically I'm fucked. I never wanted to lock the children in Crystal Cages but, I always wanted to be there to bring down vengeance if required. I wanted to be the Goth of War if they needed it

Oh well, shit happens..........


17 comentarios:

Ariel dijo...

Ah to feel protected... how good that must be! And to protect, if only they'd let you... x

SpanishGoth dijo...

Ariel, you're back !! So happy, went looking for you after you disappeared from Big Blogger. If you need protecting - I am more than happy to help

Besos XXX

phoenix dijo...

No matter how much we want to,and even if we're there to do so we cant protect them all the time anyway.My mini me is almost 9 but already fiercely independent and I am no longer allowed to interfere with her own little battles,much as I'd love to tear into the vicious little gits that rule the school.They know in their hearts that you're there for them if they need you to be and the older they get the more apparent that will become to them and you. x

SpanishGoth dijo...

Ah but that's the thing. My mini-Goth did ask for my help but ex-Goth (the witch) wouldn't allow me to. Then mini-Goth felt I had abandoned him.

That's what really pissed me off.

If I go into a school, all the bullies run away from me anyway (might be the flamethrower though ;-)

phoenix dijo...

ah now that's not on! No matter how much I detest my ex if mini me asked him for help I wouldn't ever stand in her way. However my mother did this to us when we were kids,did everything she could to turn us away from our dad,it may have worked for a while but as we got older we saw things as they really were and we all love our dad and will turn to him in a crisis. x

SpanishGoth dijo...

That's why I left in the first place. Madness is not something I can cure.

When we were together, I was always accused of having affairs (which I didn't). Now I'm with someone else, it's "Let's make it work for the childrens sake".

Yeah right !!!

Laura dijo...

I was due witness to last nights occurence. I have to say Honey's kids are enough to get anyone in a tizzy. Lovely little cherubs they are. Even T got broody! He announced across the bar
1. He said "Too cute" (already had raised eyebrows at that point)
2. He said "Makes me want you to have a baby" (Of course he would be forgeting his own priorities in that that would be the end of my ass size)

I do have to say Goth you had a great dad-like expression when looking at those "chillins". I think your kids are missing out. Sincerely said.

And then of course they miss out on broody Uncle T and Wacky Aunty Laura as well.
Next time bring photos.

phoenix dijo...

Some women are beyond help in the mental stakes I'm afraid and I will never understand why they would mess with the emotions of their own children but rest assured,even if it takes years,and it might,your childrens hearts will come back to you. x

SpanishGoth dijo...

Laura -> When you see the pictures of the little Goths, you will understand and yes, I am missing out (but so are they)

Phoenix -> I know she's as mad as a pineapple but she is still the mother of the mini-Goths. I don't think their hearts ever left but being told they were abandoned didn't really help matters at all

Laura dijo...

Hope the woman gets a clue and prioritizes her children. Meaning, even with all those single mums out there doing a bang up job, if it is possible to have a father around and he is willing don't rob them of it. I even missed I didn't have a grandfather (both dead)can't imagine not being Daddy's Little Girl.

SpanishGoth dijo...

You can be my little girl (being shorter than me and all - although I dare say T would have one of those jealous tantrums....again)

Honey dijo...

I hope you get to see your kids, I'm sure they love their dad. I cannot imagine being without mine, it would tear me to pieces, so I don't know what to say, I'm sorry.
Does that mean you'd rather I kept away next time I have the kids along? I hope not, they took to you instantly (and yes the chocolate biscuits did help!).

SusannahS dijo...

I'm just so sorry for you and for the mini-goth & -gothess.

Cream dijo...

Kids find their own way... It always happens because the truth will come out in the end.

SpanishGoth dijo...

Honey -> Of course not my love. I would never spread my unhappiness anywhere other than myself.

Suzy S -> don't worry, life has a way of equalising itself

Cream -> Indeed, truth does find a way

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