sábado, junio 23, 2007

I Don't Cry Much

I Don't Cry Much, because I'm big and hard and insensitive and Gothic and evil.

Only two things will make me cry - mini-Goth and mini-Gothess. I've done some crazy shit in my life, but I NEVER regret creating the two superstars of the uiniverse.

I've done some horrible shit in my life, but none worse than having to leave them.

I wish things could be different. I'm fairly sure I've been painted as the evil twat from hell - I'm not. Anyone who actually knows me will tell you I'm not evil. Anyone who knows me on a day to day basis, will tell you I am not the Antichrist.

However, it's time for me to start stabbing people in the eyes with pencils and if you don't like it, stay the fuck away from me...

My son just said "hasta luego xxxluv u dad"

I cried.

He's never called me 'dad' since I had to leave.

Besos mon amigo

15 comentarios:

kimmyk dijo...

Aww I'm sorry you're sad. Hopefully you won't be seperated for long...

hugs my gothy friend!

Kadaj dijo...

i wud rather have a fab dad like you than 1 thats always kikin the shit outa me wen i do somat rong!hasta luego (the son who cares) xxx

SpanishGoth dijo...

Kimmy -> Not sad, I'm rather elated actually but thanks for the hugs (I felt them)

Kadaj -> You are my world my little apprentice and always will be (until that miserable twat Death catches up with me - at the moment I keep 'thundering' the bastard). Besos XXX

PI dijo...

Maybe you could keep a record of your thoughts and feelings about your children, and when the time comes that they can choose for themselves, you can share it with them, so they know they have always been in your heart - if they don't already know. I suspect you will always be their much loved father. Chins up!

zoe dijo...

being separated from your own kids really hurts, and no doubt it hurts them too. but the day will come when you'll be reunited together.

that, i promise you.

Cream dijo...

Just the fact that your kid said that means you've cracked it.
Bullshit, pretence, lies, etc... may work for a while but, as I keep repeating myself, what matters is the truth. Et le problème, mon zami, is that, la vérité, you can put a lid on it for so long, but it always breaks free!

Just picture Freddy Mercury with a hoover singing that song!

SpanishGoth dijo...

Pat -> already done my love

Zed -> I know but tomorrow seems a long way away

Cream -> You are Freddie Mercurial...?? I knew I recognised the face

Princess of the Universe dijo...

In the absence of something incredbly profound to say, I am just sending you *BIG HUGS* from me!

SpanishGoth dijo...

Hugs gratefully accepted my dear

*bows graciously*

phoenix dijo...

they will always come back if you give them the space to see,the knowledge that you love them no matter what and will always be there for them. The one who tries to force them will only push them closer to you.
Kadaj has his head screwed on ;-) x

SpanishGoth dijo...

Thanks my dear - Kadaj is my son (bisous)

bananas62 dijo...

Your kids will figure out whats, what and whos, who all in good time! Though, it sounds as tho your son's figured or slowly is figuring it all out! Kids are alot sharper than we sometimes give them credit for... though my step daughter would never tell me to my face...She did tell my daughter that I was more of a mother to her than her own mom was..the same mom who, tried everything in her power to make her dad and I look bad...hummmm I 've got a big hug for you, as well!!!

phoenix dijo...

I knew that as soon as I read it and it's lovely that he's commenting on your blog. So hello kadaj and you're so lucky to have a dad who loves you so much,but hey you know that already. x

japanesewhispers dijo...

I don't know anything about the situation but your story sounded so sweet!

SpanishGoth dijo...

Bananas -> I've been waithing a long time for it to happen and didn't want to push

Phoenix -> and e-mailing a lot recently too (but don't tell ex-Goth as I am sure she will do something strange again)

JW -> Don't broadcast the situation - plenty of people have a more shit time in life than me